Learning to Live
by Magnet-Rose
Summary: Winds change shifting the sands of our sandy planet as time goes on. A little time and the love for a woman... can it change a man? Can it shift the unaltered ways of a lifetime? Sequal to Nova KxOC
1. Prologue: Return

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**Learning to Live**

**Prologue: Return**

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**(Knives)**

The sky blazed with the fire of sunset as the suns made their decent into the horizon. The colors of the coming night danced across the cool white sands of the desert as gentle winds brushed the sands across the landscape.

We had finally reached the surface of Gunsmoke.

I carefully guided the alien ship into a tight crevasse hidden among the jagged cliffs outside a small human settlement, making a quick check of the instruments to assure myself that no lights were visible emanating from the craft.

The settlement itself was far from just about every other city and town. About 1000 iles far. It contained only one Plant, of which I had no inclination how a single Plant had ended up in the middle of the desert a thousand iles from the nearest crashed SEEDs vessel.

However this had occurred I hoped that this would be a good hiding place to begin. It was an entire planet away from Vash; he would be unable to sense me, nor any of the powers I might use. This would be vital to the execution of a new plan.

I shut down the systems of the ship and sat in the quiet of the ship, the only sound was that of the breathing of the unconscious woman in the back.

I listened to her breathing... it was labored and harsh. I slid out of the seat and knelt down next to her side. She didn't look good.

I gently brushed my fingers through her silky blue hair.

Would she despise me? Hate me? If that happened... it would make me...

No... I shouldn't let thoughts like that effect me. It will only weaken me.

But... This time, whatever the case, I would make sure that we--_I_-- would succeed.

_Even if I have to take over her mind..._

I looked down at her bloodied face, and wiped away some of the blood on her cheek. She stirred in her sleep. Like she was having a nightmare and couldn't escape the horror it was giving her.

Then..._ Could you really do that to her?_

Standing, refusing to even think about the question, I stepped out into the cool night air, locked the hatch, and the woman in, behind me and walked towards the little town.

_ Could you...?_

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Yay! New story!

I hope I can do good on this story! i hope everyone enjoys it._   
_

**(POV) **Indicates the POV or a change of POV


	2. Chapter 1: White Sands

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**Learning to Live**

**Chapter One: White Sands**

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**(Knives)**

About fifteen minutes after leaving the ship I reached the outskirts of the little town. A sign on the side of the lightly traveled road into town named the place as White Sands.

The name of the town was nothing special really. I had never heard of it in fact. I was sure I had all the towns on the maps memorized. The town didn't look to be new at all; the buildings were worn down from years of sand and wind. The place had too much of a "settled" mentality, that seeped from the minds of the people who lived there, for it to be less than fifty years old.

The houses of the town were lightly peppered in a rough circle around the singular Plant like a giant adobe desert flower, its pedals spread wide to receive the double suns.

I entered the town by way of the main road, passing an occasional person as I went along. The people I did pass seemed fairly harmless, greeting me with a smile as they passed, a few giving me curious looks.

Considering the size of the town this must have been one of those places were everyone knew everyone. It would be hard to integrate ourselves into the society without much hassle.

Going by a different names and past histories we might be able to elude any recognizable mentioning.

That is if Kestrel cooperated with me.

A small argument off to the side from what appeared to be a bar caught my attention.

The bar seemed to be well populated with many of the town's occupants. The participants of the argument looked about ready to pull guns on each other and a third person was trying his best to break up the fight.

I hoped that this town didn't turn out to be full of drunks. The only drunk I could ever manage to tolerate was Vash.

Even he got annoying after a bit.

Passing the lively bar with out a second glance I continued on down the street following a course that would take me in a big circle around the perimeter of the town.

I kept my psychic probes out scanning the town for any unoccupied dwelling. I had no money to spend on a hotel room and sticking someone up would only cause a scene and attract attention to myself that I did not want.

The only alternative to that was to find a temporary place to stay and—as irritating it may seem—get a job. Better to blend in with the humans and make them think that I am one of them than to draw attention.

What I had in mind for the future had to go smoothly, there could be no mistakes and I couldn't run the risk of catching Vash's notice. He and the others probably thought the two of us were dead. The supernova was virtually inescapable.

Setting the plan into motion had to begin soon. I wanted to waste as little time as possible. The sooner things were set in motion the sooner--

A small one-story house caught my psychic probes at the same time I saw it. A few of the windows were broken and the door hung loose from one of its hinges, shifting with the shallow winds. A broken chain-link fence lined to property and a ratty "For Sale" sign was tied on the gate.

Going through the gate and heading around back I found a back door and quickly stepped inside. Reaching out my senses again I targeted the signature that the presence of a living being always left.

No humans had resided here in months it seemed. The signatures were decayed almost to the point of being nonexistent.

The only things that had lived here in the past month were a family of cats that had also long moved out.

The only pieces of furniture were a scruffy brown couch in the living room, and a table and three chairs in the kitchen.

This looked like an ideal place it was on the edges of town and the houses near to this one were spread thin and far between. The state of indicated to me that no one would be very interested in it. If anyone did come near—which I highly doubted--I could give a gentle mental suggestion that they didn't want the place.

Such a suggestion wouldn't linger in the mind and they would soon forget anything foreign to their minds had affected them.

As soon as I could get the funds I could move us to a new place somewhere where I didn't have to worry about any of the people being suspicious.

I set my hand on the sill of one of the windows in the living room. Until that time came though, this place would have to do.

Feeling satisfied with my find I headed back out of town to retrieve Kestrel.

Soon I was back at the house with Kestrel in my arms. I slipped in through the back door and set Kestrel on the couch. She barely stirred as I crossed her arms over her stomach.

I wasn't receiving much from her mind. It was almost like I was looking into an empty box. I was certain it had to do with fatigue. I was far too tired to do much right now.

Come morning and good nights rest I would be able to do more with my powers. Navigating through the dark house I went into the kitchen and dragged a chair back into the living room and placed it beside the couch on the end where Kestrel's head was.

But before I could sit down a loud knock on the door shattered the silence, making a cold shock of adrenaline course through my body.

Someone was here. Who? Who could have seen me and had not alerted me that I was being watched?

Hesitating only for a moment I opened the front door coming face to face with a burly middle-aged man. He looked gruff and gave me a very authoritative look. The aura wafting off of him was so strongly that of a lawman even a human would be able to tell.

The man sized me up before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet with a silver sheriff's star pinned to it, "Sheriff Hawthorne. What's your name boy?"

"Ah…" I froze up, then said the first name that came to mind, "Joey. Joey Miller."

"OK, Mr. Miller, may I ask what you are doing here?" The sheriff narrowed his eyes at me.

"The… uh… owner said that we could stay here for bit." I didn't even think about the answer. Had we been found out? Already? Damn it.

"Really? Well I'm afraid that's quite impossible." He said lightly.

"How so?" I asked, fighting back my initial inclination to kill him right then and there.

"Because. _I_ own this property and I sure as hell don't remember saying anything about letting you stay."

I was suddenly at a loss for words. What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't just kill him could I? Too many of the people who had seen me today would be able to make a positive ID on me if there was an investigation into his death.

What would a human do in this type of situation? Run? Try and bribe the sheriff?

The option of running was beginning to sound good, but no doubt the sheriff had brought along a weapon and I wouldn't be able to run fast burdened down with Kestrel. And bribe him? Me and what money?

What was he going to do now? He had me caught in a lie. I don't know how big a punishment the humans would give out for trespassing. I could easily get out of it, but not without destroying something or someone.

"You said "we" is there someone else here?" The sheriff squinted at me in the darkness. But he didn't wait for an answer and pulled out a small flashlight, ran it across the room and brought it to rest on Kestrel's unconscious form.

"Who's she?"

"Kes--Kes Summers." _Real clever Knives. Real clever._ "My... girlfriend." I cringed at having said that but the sheriff didn't seem to notice. He was looking at her intently.

"Is she alright? Looks like she's all bloody."

Damn it! Why is he asking so many questions! No time to think about that... think up a story. Quickly!

"You see, um, Sir. My girlfriend and I have gotten into a bad position with an… outlaw. He's after us and well we only just managed to get away from him with our lives intact. She's just a little worse off than me."

The sheriff seemed to accept this, "So you are in hiding."

"Yes."

"Who? What outlaw?"

"Uh… Vash. Vash the Stampede."

"Vash?" The sheriff looked shocked, "And you came here?"

"Well I didn't think he'd be able to locate this far out."

The sheriff narrowed his eyes again, "Ah huh. She looks badly hurt… why haven't you brought her to a hospital."

"I was afraid he might find us through hospital records. I'm sure he's monitoring them."

The sheriff nodded, "OK, boy, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt… I will let you stay."

"You will?" Well isn't this a surprise.

"Under the condition that if The Stampede finds you here, you leave. I want no trouble for the folks here. We are a simple people living a simple existence and I'd like to keep it that way. Understand?"

"Yes, sir. Completely."

"Good." The Sheriff took one more look at Kestrel, "I know a doctor in town I can get in to treat your girlfriend's injuries on a low profile basis."

"Really? That'd be… uh… great."

The sheriff nodded a goodbye and left.

I closed the door behind me and let out a sigh. I couldn't believe how well that went. I was sure the man was going to try and drag me off the jail.

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Well that's Chapter 1. I hope everyone enjoyed... I was hoping to update on Saturday… but stupid had to go and 'update' the web site.

Any way here it is… Long chapter… sort of. It's not going to be a regular occurrence though… the sixes are very random. But hay it's the content that counts!

**RR**

**Sakurasango**: Thanks. XD Here's your update!

**shadowneko003:** Yeah I did. Well I can guarantee that Knives' feelings will fully come to light by the end of this. Here's your update!

**DarkFusion**: Oo! Interesting? Really? Aww you're just bein' kind. Here's your update!

**Desmonia:** Crime and vandalism...? oO I believe you did review the last chapter, and thanks! I'm glad to be doing a sequel too! It makes me very happy to please the masses.

**hope-is-4ever:** Hehehe. Fortunately this chapter was a little longer. Here's your update!

**Rosebud:** Yay, my third story! Ooo! Magnet-Rosey goodness! XD Well all I can tell you my friend I hope I can live up to if now surpasses your expectations. This is really kind of like an experiment. I've never tried nor attempted to write anything like this... I'm walking new ground here for myself. XD


	3. Chapter 2: The Job

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Learning to Live**

**Chapter Two: The Job**

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**(Knives)**

A good three days later the abandoned house was beginning to look less abandoned. The Sheriff had come by a few more times after that first night and had given us a few things to live on. He had supplied us both with clothes, food a few bits of furniture.

His charity was annoying me to no end. I'm sure he would want something in return for his 'kindness.'

I did not refuse anything he gave me, though, because I was sure that no human would have refused, if they were in our position. In any bad situation I'm sure they would have accepted any help that was offered them.

Egocentric pieces of human trash.

At one point he had brought over a doctor, and she had taken a look at Kestrel and bandaged and stitched wounds where she needed to. The doctor had confirmed my suspicions that Kestrel wasn't in a coma. I later did my own delving into Kestrel's mind and found that some sort of mental trauma had done enough damage to prevent her conscious mind from rising to the surface.

Kestrel just would not wake. No matter how many times I tried to shake her awake, she only let out a small whimper and refused to open her eyes. I wasn't certain what to do with her. Her situation was looking worse and worse by the day.

I was beginning to wonder if it would morph into a coma like state and if she would ever regain consciousness.

If this happened she would not starve, the doctor had set up an IV in one of the rooms where Kestrel now lay. The doctor assured me she could survive like that for a prolonged period of time before muscle atrophy began to take its toll.

For a couple hours everyday for those three days I sat backwards in a chair leaning my chin on the back of the chair running my psychic probes thorough her mind trying to find a way in. She had put up some kind of shield. I could not find any way of entering it. It was incredibly strong, stronger than I would think possible for a human.

But after two hours of intense work I could do nothing more than sit back, my own mind weary.

……………………………

By the fourth day I was determined not to get too heavily into any debt to the sheriff. Though his intentions seemed pure I didn't believe I could trust him.

That meant getting a job.

I paced the living room floor of the house for hours trying to tell myself that it was necessary. The absolute revulsion to even thinking about demeaning myself to that kind of position was almost enough to want me to mug some poor sap on the street.

Low profile. I had to keep telling myself to keep a low profile. Otherwise Vash might catch wind of me, however unlikely, and come dashing over and put me back under his wing to keep me from harming his precious humans.

No way. No way would I allow Vash to get the better of me again.

Finally picking up a local paper someone had thrown away earlier in the day I found something on the first glance in the Help Wanted section.

There were openings at the Plant for Plant Engineers and Technicians.

……………………………

I left the house for the Plant in the center of town, in the hopes that Kestrel would not wake in my absence.

The walk was a short one and I soon found myself in the tiny lobby of the Plant Facility. A woman wearing heavy amounts of make-up and idly chewing on a pen sat at a high desk in the center of the room.

Her gaze came up from some magazine she was reading, "Yes?" she asked in a nasal voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

"I'm here for the job." I said standing at my full height, which did not have the desired effect on her because of the height of her desk.

"Mr. Gilles?" She drawled, pressing the button of a speaker on her desk, "There's a man here about the job opening."

"Send 'im in." A voice crackled through the speaker.

The woman pointed to a door on the left-hand-side wall with her chewed up pen, "Through there, it's the second door on the right."

I gave a polite nod but she had already gone back to chewing up her pen and reading her magazine.

Shaking my head disdainfully I went through the door, and entered a narrow hall. Pushing through the first door on the right as the woman had said I found myself in a cramped office. The place was stacked with books and papers, most of which were scattered on the floor.

Locating a path through the towers of computer printouts and news articles I managed to make myself to a desk where a man sat hunched over a tiny circuit board soldering something onto it.

"You're here for the Engineer job?" He asked without looking up.

"Yes."

"Are you qualified?" He still didn't look up.

"Would I be here if I wasn't?" I replied.

"Maybe. Maybe not."

Not sure what to say to that I just let it go; "I have been working with Plants my entire life. I assure you, I am qualified."

"We'll see about that…" he said and finally turned around.

I blinked. He had on some strange glasses with a large magnifying glass over each lens that made his eyes look four times the normal size.

I held back a laugh that suddenly wanted to bubble forth and kept a slightly bored straight face.

"Your whole life, huh? What are you like 24?"

"No I--"

"No biggie, one of our best Engineers is 23, the boy's a genius." He stood and stretched, taking his magnifying glasses off, "Name's Oliver Gilles, Administrator, and you are?"

"Uh… Joey Miller."

"Well Joey, you are the first one to answer in the whole month that I've had the ad in the paper… do you have any school documentation? Or a resume?"

"No." _Damn._ _Hadn't thought of those._

"Really?" He shrugged as if it were no big deal, "Normally I'd require those things… but right now I'm willing to take even an elementary student who knows a little 'bout plants."

"I am not an elementary student." I said menacingly.

"Neva' said you were." He pushed his way though the stack of books, papers and the assortment of computer parts and out into the hall, "Come, I'll introduce you the Lead Engineer and I'll let 'er make the determination on you."

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FFN is dumb. Wah! I blame FFN for all my troubles! And the poltergiests! Yes... they're all out to get me. -gets shifty eyes-

Anyway, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving... Mine was lazy and I think I ate too much. I felt sick... But that's all in the past! Yay! A new chapter! I hope everyone enjoyed. And _hopefully _with now difficulties I'll have next chapter out on Saturday. That is if I have no problems... the roof caves in, I get transported to Gusmoke via magic Kuroneko plushie, I decide to run off with the red truck or suddenly I loose my hands.

Yeah...

**RR:**

**shadowneko003:** Yeah, he's bing a wimp I think. Hehehe.

**Rosebud: **Yeah it did. Poor Vash. Always taking the blame. Knives needs to quit that, it's becoming a bad habit. As always I'm glad you enjoyed. I hope you had a good Thanksgiving! As for Vash, Meryl, Milly and Wolfy. They will be getting their own story after I'm done with this story.

**sakurasango:** Thanks, here's the next one. Hope you enjoyed.

**El Hustino:** Oh, don't worry about it. I'm sure you have a big enough plate for yourself already. Thanks. Knives is really going to have to work on his "people skills." Hehe, that's going to be fun. Hehehehehe. Last I heard the red truck got a makeover and now has speed stripes and monster truck tires. It now is in the regional Monster Truck Madness Parade in the City of December.

**hope-is-4ever:** -grin- -wiggles eysbrows- Knives getting a job. This is going to fuuuun. Here's you update.

**DarkFusion: **No biggie, FFN is a pain in the arse. I'm glad you think so. Here's you update i hope you enjoy this one, too. And they'd probably panic and run for the high hills. Or faint. The whole town would faint in one fell swoop. Hehehehehe.


	4. Chapter 3: Awake

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**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Three: Awake**

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**(Knives)**

I walked wearily down the main street towards the house, barely noticing any of the humans I passed. Everything around me was like a fast moving blur, as I got lost in my own thoughts.

The interview had gone well I guess. After Administrator Gilles had led me to the Lead Engineer, an aged woman by the name of Mercedes Jakes, I was given the job on a trial period basis. I would begin in the next two days; join another engineer at the plant for a four-hour shift. If after a week I proved to be completely qualified then I would keep the job.

I had no doubts that I would easily prove myself after one day, I chucked lightly to myself, this would be as easy as snapping my fingers.

I just hoped that this Engineer who I was to pair up with wouldn't be trying to give me orders. _That_ I would not stand for. A human ordering me around it was laughable.

Now it was time to get back to the house and check on Kestrel. I was getting edgy for having left her for this long. There was a slim chance she would have woken up in the past three hours but still the possibility was there.

Finally reaching the house I quickly stepped in, opened the door to Kestrel's bedroom, and expecting her to be there I received a wrenching shock.

She was gone.

The IV tubes lay strewn on the bed and the blankets were pushed off the side. The rest of the room was undisturbed from when I had left. There was no sign that she had taken anything.

With all the injuries she had sustained she shouldn't have been able to move. On second thought... her healing powers. She would be very capable of healing herself. But where would she go? There was nothing but sand for iles. She would starve and become dehydrated within days if she even attempted the trek to the next town.

I reached out my senses and tried to locate her presence. She had to be close. How far can an injured woman go in three hours? But I could find her presence nowhere.

Was she dead?

A slight shuffling noise from the other side of the bed attracted my immediate attention. I walked further into the room towards the bed. Was I wrong? Was she still here? Why couldn't I sense her?

The first thing I saw was a pair of feet then as I took one more step I abruptly saw the rest of her. She lay on the floor facedown, the only movement from her was the rise and fall of her back as she breathed, she seemed almost like she was asleep.

Maybe she had only moved in her sleep and fallen off the bed.

But that still didn't explain why I could no longer sense her presence. There was something more to this.

Kneeling down next to her I touched her shoulder in the attempt to turn her over on her back, but she suddenly stiffened and let out a small unintelligible noise.

"Kestrel?" I asked. Getting no further response I leaned down a little further to look at her face. Her eyes were open... I don't know what I expected to see on her face but what I did see was _fear_. Complete unbound _fear_.

_Fear... Of who? Me?_

I reached out my mind to inspect hers, but the second I did a heavy blockade shot itself up in her mind blocking me further, "What the..." _What's going on?_ No barrier could possibly block me. At least none of human creation. But this...

Trying again, with more force and determination, I met the same blockade but this time Kestrel let out a scream, reeled back and curled herself into a ball.

Dumbfounded, I sat back on my heels and stared down at the curled up woman. This wasn't right. What was going on here?

Reaching out my hand I pulled Kestrel's arm away from her face and made eye contact. For an instant there was something like recognition but the next instant it was gone, she then closed her eyes tight and pulled her trembling arm back over her face.

That when I came to the sudden realization.... she didn't know who I was. She didn't even recognize me.

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Sorry this chapter is so short... The next one will be longer I promise. Hehe... laters!

Bah! I keep forgetting to do this but thanks to LegacyRBluesummers for Beta-ing. Please go read her stuff. and revew too. She needs some feedback gadsmammit!

**RR**

**Desmonia:** Is okay. hehe, Domesticated he is! Just wait till he starts doing the dishes and wearing an apron that says, "Kiss the cook" and yelling "Honey I'm home!" When he gets home from work. ... OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!? I've created a monster!!! Waaaaaaah! Thorn: Slap! Rose: Wha? Thorn: Contain yourself in front of the the readers! Rose: Sorry.

**hope-is-4ever: **Yeah, that wouldn't be too good. "I'm 131 years old!" That'll go over really well. Yes, incredibly appropriate!

**DarkFusion:** Thanks. So do I... heh heh heh... You better put your eye back in, I'm sure it's needing lubrication by now.

**LegacyRBluesummers:** Luke! XD Right you are! Smart best-friend you are!! XD

**Shadowneko003:** Hehehehehe, yeah, I could laugh at that all day too.

**Rosebud: **Yeah... I wish I had one. She'll fine to a point... heh. Yeah baby! I'm a rock rolling down a steep hill and I'm gathering no moss! ... What?


	5. Chapter 4: Problems

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**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Four: Problems**

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**(Knives)**

After almost an hour of fighting with her she finally let me move her back into the bed. She seemed unable to focus on one thing for more than a few seconds and moved in a very uncoordinated fashion.

I wasn't sure what to think. Her mind was completely blank, I couldn't see for myself because of the psychic shield, but because of her actions it was painfully obvious.

But how this happened… I wasn't sure. She had seemed fine when we had joined in the spirit world. Her spirit had been on the verge of disappearing. Had we been too late to save her soul?

I lightly touched a tiny scar on the edge of her hairline above her ear. She flinched away from my touch not once making eye contact. Then again the final attack on her by Seldokas to stop her from telling me where his body was may have had something to do with her condition. The amount of fear that she displayed must have been from being attacked. An instinct for her mind to recede and shield itself from attack.

I sat on the edge of the bed and let out a sigh.

If she truly was without any memory then what was I do now. How could I fit her into my plan? She's a blank slate. No use at all.

Looking down at her I reached out to touch her head again but she turned her head away and evaded my hand.

Letting my hand fall a thought suddenly entered my mind. She was a blank slate without any knowledge of her past, friends or family. Despite the fact that she had also lost the knowledge of speech and quite possible the ability to walk, I could reshape her. Into any form I wanted.

Her powers were another issue. I didn't know how the Laotians taught their children how to use their powers. When I found Legato he already had a basic knowledge of his powers and needed little training in that area.

The only way that I could think of finding out about her power would be to access her mind. But in the current situation she wasn't letting me in. And with the amount of fear she had for even being touched… I doubt she would be letting me in anytime soon.

The only thing to do now would be to get her to a point where she could function on her own and then get her to trust me enough to enter her mind.

A sudden loud knock on the front door jarred me back to reality and made Kestrel jump.

I stood, left the room closing and locking the door behind me, and opened to front door coming face to face with a young man in a Plant Facility uniform.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Hi, I know you weren't supposed to start work at the Plant for another couple of days, but a bad situation has just come up and we need all the help we can get." He said this with a very lazy sleepy sort of voice with an urgent tinge to it.

"Okay…" I looked back towards Kestrels door.

"Is something wrong?" The man asked.

"No. Nothing. Let's go." The thing was I wasn't sure if anything was wrong. Would Kestrel be alright here by herself? I did lock the door, and it seemed like she had trouble coordinating her limbs anyway. Despite this I kept my psychic eye on her. Even if I couldn't sense her presence I _could_ sense movement.

The young man brought me to a jeep and as soon as I had climbed in he shot down the street towards the Plant. We arrived in only a few minutes to the sound of blaring sirens and red light blinking on the outside of the Plant.

"This way!" The man yelled, already heading into a side door of the Plant. I quickly jogged after him in through the door.

In seconds I was helping him regulate the hydrogen flow into the Plant while others around the facility did other jobs.

Apparently the flow of hydrogen and various other gasses that the plant needed to function wasn't getting to their destination, the young man explained.

Telepathically I spoke to the Plant inside, she claimed it was no error of her own, that it was something technical. She explained a diagnostic her central computer had run and pointed out a faulty tubing junction.

About this time my psychic eye sense movement in the house from Kestrel room. She was trying to stand.

I sprinted to the location of the faulty junction dragging the human after me. I had to get back to the house soon.

"There." I said, pointing to the junction as he gathered his composure.

"Huh?"

"Your problem is there. The junction is defective."

"How do you know?" He looked skeptical.

"Trust me. I know."

"OK… uh… Deana!" He called over to woman by a control panel, "Shut down Junction 078-A and reroute thorough 076-C!"

The woman obeyed and I head the low hum from the junction cease. Luke took out a wrench from his tool belt and removed the panel.

Looking back to my psychic eye I sensed Kestrel moving around more, gaining a little ground from the bed. _Crap._

She wouldn't be able to get out of the room by way of the door but the window was another matter. Would she even understand that she could escape that way?

"You were right!" The young man suddenly cried out, holding up the junction tubing that had some large gashes in it.

"Amazing how did you know?" No even letting me think of an answer, he ran off down the room towards a storage room and quickly came back with a new junction.

With the situation taken care of I wanted to get back to Kestrel as quickly as possible.

As I was heading out the young man stopped me, "Hi… I'm sorry I don't think that I properly introduced myself. My name is Luke Morgan."

"Uh huh. I'm Kn—uh, Joey Miller."

"Well Joey, thanks a lot for the help, I really don't understand how you could have known that that junction was broken but thanks anyway."

"You're welcome…" I said, slowly, "I have to get back now."

"Oh! Right. Do you need a ride back?" He asked.

"It would be appreciated."

On the ride back which took a lot longer than the ride there I sensed Kestrel had managed to get out of the room. How I don't know. But she was making her way to the front door.

The second Luke stopped his jeep I was out and running towards the house. I opened the door quickly not thinking that she might have been behind the door but she was and the door slammed into her.

She was lying on the floor just behind the door; she must have crawled the whole way.

I crouched down by her side and shook my head, "What were you thinking?"

She didn't answer but looked up at me with a slightly blank stare.

What was this need to escape that seemed to be driving her and making her ignore her injuries?

"Who's she?" a voice said from behind me.

I turned and saw that it was the human, Luke, "She's… my girlfriend." _Might as well keep up the story I've already given the sheriff._

"What's wrong with her?"

"She was attacked. She didn't come out to well from it."

"I see. Why isn't she in the hospital?"

_Why in the world were these humans so full of questions? Didn't they have anything better to do?_

I scooped Kestrel up and placed her on the couch, "The attacker may come looking for us. I cannot risk Medical Records."

"Ah." He paused for a moment before continuing, "But… what if she needs immediate medical attention? From the looks of her… those are some bad injuries, the hospital is iles away and you have no vehicle."

"It's a risk I have to take," I said in a low voice.

He went quiet. I was too busy checking Kestrel's bandages to care.

"Well…" He spoke up again, "Uh… I guess I'll see you in two days."

"Fine. Goodbye."

I heard him pause again before hearing the door close behind him.

**----------------------------------**

Well... that was a longer chapter! Yay! Anyway, This was sort a fun chapter to write. I got a new OC in it too. Hehehe. Luke is based of a real guy, someone my beta reader knows. We were brain storming for ideas about a name for him and she came up with that name. This was of course when LtL had a much different story. See my profile for a link to my Author's Notes LJ for more of a little back story.

Also I made this kickass picture of Kinves, it's there too.

**RR**

**Hope-is-4ever:** Many problems. Heh heh heh. I hope to make I real hard on him.

**sakurasango: **Thanks. Here is update!

**El Hustino:** Hehehehe. Right you are, Sledokas is the root of all problems... I think he and Bill Gates sent the poltergiests to infest my computer. Nope, no good impact. Ouch impact. Thanks, Lord Hustino!

**DarkFusion:** Complicated is fun! Here is update. Hehehe.

**Luna-Kitsune-Blu: **-is shaken to much- heheh. Woww. Look at the purty stars. Beinf shaken is like being on a roller coaster directed at ones self. Hehe. Here is update!

**Rosebud:** Yeah it's pretty bad huh? Nah no creatures this time, fourtunatly they died with Seldokas. Here is your update! Thanks, and I probably should have said I'm gathering no cobwebs... but oh well. hehehe


	6. Chapter 5: Compassion

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Five: Compassion**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

Kestrel was asleep now. I'd finally managed to get her to rest, for hours after she attempted escape she refused to close her eyes. I spoke to her, even though it was apparent that she couldn't understand me.

She seemed almost eased by the sound of my voice. I wasn't all that sure why this was. She had become a contradiction; she was terrified by my presence and at the same time soothed by it.

She murmured in her sleep, dreaming of something untold.

I rested my head on my arm that were crossed on the edge of the bed and closed my eyes.

I didn't remember doing it but I'd fallen asleep at some point, and was woken suddenly by the blanket under my head and arms were tugged.

I lifted my head to see Kestrel on the other side of the bed trying to stand.

I chuckled, "Honestly Kes, What are you doing."

She made a scared noise when she heard me speak and tried to gain her footing faster only to fall to the ground.

I stood, walked around the bed and knelt next to her, she didn't look up at me, but I could see the beginning of tears in the corners of her eyes.

I didn't move to touch her or anything but waited for a response from her.

She shifted her arms a little then let her eyes flick up towards me.

I tried to give her a smile, a nice smile, but she only looked way again. I covered my mouth wondering if there was something wrong with my smile.

Unless… It wasn't impossible…she was sensing my emotions. Empathy was a very easy power to learn. It was merely sensing and interpreting emotions coming from others.

To feel true compassion for her… I stood abruptly scaring Kestrel again, and left the room.

This was a whole new facet that I couldn't…

I leaned my back on the wall next to Kestrel's bedroom door and told myself to breathe. I can't get angry. She would be far too receptive to that. And then she would never open up to me.

But… how was I supposed to let myself feel actual compassion for her.

I closed my eyes and calmed my mind.

To feel for a _human._

I let myself slide down the wall till I was sitting on the floor, my legs stretched out in front of me.

I can't do this. It's hopeless. I stared up at the ceiling let out another of my numerous sighs that day.

The door to Kestrel's room was ajar and out of the corner of my eye I saw Kestrel peeking out.

The door opened the rest of the way and she crawled out. She stopped next to me and touched my hand. Surprised I looked at her. This was the first time she had voluntarily touched me.

She still did not look at me but took my hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly. Automatically I squeezed back, totally shocked by this new event.

It was completely uncharacteristic to what I had thought she would be like. She was comforting _me_ when I thought it would be me who would be doing to comforting. It was like she was telling me not to give up.

She began to examine my hand very carefully like it was the most fascinating thing in the world, twining her fingers through mine and squeezing each finger experimentally.

Had she somehow retained something through her amnesia? Was her whole life still there? But only buried? Was that even possible?

I only wished that I could access her mind. But right now I would… have to be patient, and I would have to _feel._

Slowly I stood so as not to frighten Kestrel, and pulled her up with me. I stabilized her by holding onto her waist, "Do you want me to teach you to walk?" I asked.

She didn't answer but seemed to be staring at my chin, I smiled, a genuine smile and said softly, "Take a step forward,"

I took a step backward forcing her to take that step forward, "Good."

"Forward," I said again as I took another step back.

After a few more steps she got the idea and took a step just as I did.

I let go of her waist to let her try and walk on her own but instead of letting go like I thought she would she clutched onto my arms and wouldn't loosen her grasp.

"What now?" I said, "Don't tell me you're afraid."

She moved closer, I suddenly wanted to back up and leave her standing in the middle of the floor. But the look on her face, that look that she didn't want to be abandoned it suddenly made me remember how I had felt after Vash had abandoned me at the top of that cliff so many years ago.

Moving forward I wrapped my arms around her, "Okay. Okay."

I rested my chin on her head. I couldn't begin to understand her. One moment she's trying as desperately as she can to escape and the next moment she doesn't want to be let go.

She was… unpredictable.

----------------------------------------

Wah! I'm so sorry for the delay! I should have updated on Saturday! I've been so focused on my Knives Shrine and…. It's done! I finally finished my website… XD So happy…. Anyway… I think I'm gonna skip the reviewer responses this time… I have to start looking for more stuff to add to the webpage. Oh yes the authors notes thing is updated with another picture. It goes with the chapter… nothing to say about this chapter though. Wah… so sorry.

Thanks to those who did review!

**Hope-is-forever**

**Luna-Kitsune-Blu**

**Shadowneko003**

**DarkFusion**

**Rosebud**

**Angelpuss123314**

I love ya all!


	7. Chapter 6: Proposition

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Six: Proposition**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

I don't know how long we stood in the middle of the living room; it seemed like hours when in truth it must have only been a few minutes. It was a strange sensation to be holding someone like this, especially a human.

I had never held someone before… never. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. When was I supposed to let go, back away?

This felt right and at the same time didn't. Was she, even in some small way, still affecting me? Like she had begun back in Lanoth?

This wasn't right… What was I doing?

My plan… my plans… if this continued then they would never come to light.

I let go, pushed her back, and she whimpered at being forced away.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and quickly left the house.

I needed to think. She was doing something to me, something that I couldn't let happen. If she became a weakness…

I had to utilize true compassion for her without falling to weakness at the same time. This was impossible. I'd never dealt with any kind of situation like this, and I had no prior experience. Vash on the other hand would know what to do. He always knew what to do.

Then again, he might say give in to this strange situation. Let it happen.

As much as I hate to admit it, it was becoming clear to me that I couldn't do this alone. I wasn't suited to… to _this._

But where in this small town could I get the kind of help I needed?

Finally looking up at my surroundings, I found that I'd walked into what passed for a business district in this tiny town. The streets were lightly peppered with people as they went about their business.

Children ran about in a small parking lot playing a game. Baseball, I think it was called. A man with a little fruit vendor cart dozed lazily, waiting for his next customer. A deputy sheriff sat outside the sheriff office reading a newspaper and drinking coffee.

Men and women alike did their shopping in relative peace.

These people… they were so peaceful. The image of a human town to me had always been one of constant sirens and rampant crime. This place was wholly different.

It didn't really fit any of my previously conceived notions about humans. I'd never really spent much time in any of the human towns. The few of the big cities I had occupied now and then, those places were always noisy and had a very in your face attitude about them.

What was with these people? What made them different?

I headed back to the house not long after that. Upon opening the door, I found Kestrel still in the living-room. She had sunk to the floor and sat in the very place where I had left her.

Wordlessly I helped her to her feet and moved her back to her bed, "Stay here." I said and left the room.

I just couldn't be around her right now. I need time to think. Time to figure out where I needed to stand with her.

Tomorrow was the first official day of my "job." What was I supposed to do with her while I was away?

---------------------------------------

That next morning I woke up on the couch in the living room. I hadn't gone back to Kestrel's room except to give her something to eat. That exchange was a strange one.

She had reverted back to not making eye contact and refusing to let herself be touched.

What had happened was beyond me. The only thing I could think of, that might have happened, was that I was projecting something that she didn't like.

Whatever _that_ was…

I shook my head and proceeded to put on the Plant Facility uniform that the administrator had given me.

Checking one last time on Kestrel, who was asleep, I headed out the door.

_Let's get this over with._

-----------------------------------

The Plant Facility was fairly quiet and without much activity like it had been the other day. I joined Luke, my new partner, in the Plant room and we did all the mundane tasks on the day's itinerary.

The whole day I felt Luke giving my sideways glances out of the corner of his eye. Finally getting tired of them I looked at him directly and growled, "What?"

"Sorry, I was… well the other day… it's been nagging at me. Who takes care of your girlfriend while you are here? I didn't see anyone else and you didn't mention anyone."

"No one. I just lock the door. And?"

"Well… I just think that's irresponsible. If she needs help… then she has no one."

"And what, may I ask, do you expect me to do? I cannot bring her to the hospital. I cannot trust anyone."

"Why can't you?"

I had no answer to give him there. I couldn't tell him… anything about my past. He would think that I was crazy.

"That I can't say. But--"

"Fine," He interrupted, "I'll understand if you wont trust me with that information, but I can't, as a good person, let that poor girl possibly suffer."

"There's nothing I can do." I said looking down at the control panels of my workstation.

"Maybe there is." He said.

I looked up at him, "What, pray tell?"

"My sister and I live above this bakery that she runs. She's home all the time and I don't think she would mind taking care of your girlfriend."

Should I go so far as to trust this human and his sister? I knew that I couldn't do this alone. What should I do? He seemed well balanced. For a human, that is.

"Look you don't have to say anything now. Why not after work you come with me and meet my sister?"

"Very well, I might as well. I have nothing to lose from it."

"That's the spirit!" Luke smiled, "Lily is real nice, you have nothing to worry about."

I stopped my self from rolling my eyes and just went back to adjusting the Plant input/outputs.

---------------------------------

Well I hope everyone had some good holidays this season.

Heh, I'm really sorry about the late update... I promised it on saturday and have now broken that... Well no turning back now, but I was having some serious glaring contests with this chapter... I don't like it that much. Something's wrong with it... Whatever. There was nothing more I could think of doing to improve it more. But I hope you all enjoyed nonetheless. And seriously I'll do my hardest to get next chapter out on Sunday if not Saturday.

My Author Notes LJ is also updated... with a close up picture of Kestrel.

**RR**

**Blu-Chan:** Well thank you! hehehe, That makes me so happy to hear! Knives is a complex guy... heh. I've studied up on him, maybe a bit too much. I will write more! XD

**Desmonia: **Love is indeed good! XD Thanks I'll keep going as long as my fingers and toes don't fall off... even then I'd prbably use my nose. XD

**DarkFusion: **Why thank you. Hehe. I'm so glad you liked, as always. Here is update.

**Didrean Eve:** Oh, never fear, my friend. I try and update around every week, give or take a couple days. I try to aim for saturday... unfourtunatly i miss. THis chapter as evidence. XD I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.

**shadowneko003: **Well I'll try and write it so you can. :)

**Rosebud: **:) I'm so glad you liked! Both the story and the art. I'm trying as hard as I can to make this story enjoyable, and worthwile for everyone. And yeah... they've got a long road ahead of them before Knives will admit to anything. heh. and yes I'm sure Legato would be quite seething by now.

**Carri:** Indeed, uphill battles are the hardest... except on downhill battles you fall over more often... Heh. Indeed. Joey Miller. Hah... Starbucks you say? hehehehe. That's just ripe. hehe. -hides from minions- Hah you'll never find me behind these barrels of nuclear-armed cheese powered tanks! ... oops... hehe, I'll do my best to keep the good work coming!

**DynastyDrummer: **Yes. It's going to be based around Knives and Kestrel. I'm aware of the spelling errors... and I will go through all my stories one of these days and fix them... unfourtunatly I'm not the best of spellers and have incredibly clumsy fingers and if it weren't for spellchecker and Word I'd be in bad place right now. Thank you for the mentioning anyway, and I hope you enjoy the rest. :)


	8. Chapter 7: New Home

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Seven: New Home**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

I stepped out of Luke's jeep and found myself under a large awning for a two story building sporting an imitation wood sign naming the place as Morgan's Bakery.

It was just after work, I was unsure about what I would find here at this bakery. The location of the bakery was at the edge of the business district, in the center of the block tucked between four other buildings.

Luke pushed opened the door making a little bell jingle from somewhere in the shop, and called out, "Hey Lily!"

"I'm in the back!" a woman's voice called out from a door leading into the back rooms.

"Right, wait here Joey… I'll talk to her first."

I nodded silently as he disappeared through the door leaving me to stand in the center of the main room of the shop.

Taking that moment, I examined the place. Glass cases lined the walls containing various kinds of breads and pastries. The low counter was decorated with little drawings and scribblings, like those of children.

The large glass windows on the front were colorfully painted with the current sales and offers. It was an intriguing place. It definitely smelled of bread and sugary toppings. And it had a very full feeling to it… not like it was stuffy or anything, but merely… whole.

My mental probes still watching the house suddenly sensed movement; I reached out my mind to the area of movement. Unexpectedly, I actually sensed Kestrel; part of her mind had opened up and was reaching out the same time mine was. For a split second our minds touched and I was shocked to feel the soft familiar force behind the walls she had put up.

_Kestrel…? Are you still in there?_

A sharp nervous laugh startled me from my thoughts and Kestrel's mind receded behind her walls again and she was gone. I turned my head to see Luke come back into the main room. He gave me a big smile and clapped his hands, "She's alright with it!"

A woman with short, unruly hair and glasses pushed her way past Luke and came to stand in front of me, she jabbed her hand out to shake mine, "If Luke has explained your situation to me correctly, you need someone to watch over your girlfriend while you are at work?"

Hesitantly shaking her hand, I nodded, "Yes."

She smiled, and released my hand "I'm Lillian, by the way."

"Joey."

"Joey…" She tilted her head to the side and a curious look entered her eye.

"What?"

"Do you have a nickname?"

"Huh?"

"Well… No offence… but 'Joey' really doesn't fit you."

I blinked in surprise, "Uh, well..." This was unexpected. I seriously considered telling her my real name. Being called 'Joey' felt too strange. It was like I was taking on the persona of the dead captain, even though he was a long and distance memory.

"You may call me Knives." I finally said.

She nodded, and smiled, "Better. Anyway, Knives, I would be most happy to help you care for your girlfriend. We have lots of space, and really… leaving her alone and helpless like that…"

She left the sentence unsaid, and warmly smiled once more, "So? Shall I get our guest room ready?"

Taking one more look around the bakery and at both Luke and his sister, I nodded. Kestrel needed an atmosphere like this. It was something I couldn't at the moment supply and was being offered to me.

But this "offer" just like it had been with the sheriff… I couldn't let it fall into a debt.

…………………………

We arrived back at the old house just as I began sensing movement within the house, if this was triggered by out arrival or not I wasn't sure.

I opened the door to see Kestrel peeking out of her room, the second she saw Luke behind me she popped her head back into the room, disappearing.

Before striding after her, I told Luke what he could load into the jeep and what to leave behind. He nodded, smiling to himself.

Entering the room I found Kestrel at the other side of the room peering out the window, "So. You learned to walk on you own, now?"

She looked at me, blinked then looked quickly away.

Walking around the bed to stand behind her I cupped my hand on her shoulder and drew her towards the door.

Instantly she ducked under my hand and backed away.

"Kestrel, we must go." I said forcefully.

In answer, she stubbornly plopped herself down on the floor.

Crouching down beside her, I shook my head, "We haven't time for this, Kes."

She continued to refuse to look at me. I sighed angrily and reached out to pull her to her feet, but in a shocking abrupt show of agility she avoided my hands and crawled over the bed to the other side of the room.

Standing, a little dumfounded by this, I stared at her. She peered over the bed at me, finally meeting my eyes. There was a tinge of mischievousness in her eyes.

The door behind her opened, making her shriek and jump back over the bed to stand behind me, glaring out from behind me at Luke who had just entered.

Luke stood in the entrance looking a little confused.

I burst out laughing, heartily, and quickly turned around and swept Kestrel up into my arms, she gasped at the sudden height and clutched my neck as if for dear life.

I laughed again, and headed out into the living room, "I'm going to put her in the jeep before we get the rest of the stuff." I said to Luke over my shoulder.

"Alrig--"

Kestrel suddenly making a scream, her body in my arms suddenly tensing up, cut Luke off and she struggled to escape me.

"What th--" Seeing the open front door, something clicked. I closed the door with the tip of my foot and suddenly Kestrel went silent.

"Wha… what was _that?_" Luke asked, looking absolutely stunned.

"She's afraid of the outside."

"What? It is something like agoraphobia?"

"Must be. I think it's a side effect of the attack on her."

"Well, now what?"

Examining her face closely I got an idea, I hoped it would work. Shifting her position in my arms so that I could touch the back of her head I closed my eyes. I knew what part of the brain to effect so it should be no problem.

Her mind was too preoccupied with her fright to sense my shallow intrusion, suddenly her eyelids flickered and slowly closed.

Luke, who had seen Kestrels eyes close like that, narrowed his own. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine. She's just asleep."

"What did you do?"

I shook my head dismissively, "Not now, I don't know how long this will last we must hurry."

"Alright…" he said hesitantly.

Quickly I left the house and strapped her into the jeep, and the headed back in to the house to help Luke with what little more we had.

…………………………

Lillian was there to meet us at the front of the bakery when we got back about an hour later. Kestrel hadn't woken yet and for that I was glad. The day was just coming to a close and all I wanted was to go to sleep.

"This is her?" Lillian asked, examining the sleeping woman in my arms as I took her out of the jeep.

"Yes."

Suddenly Lillian smiled in greeting, "Well hello there."

I glanced down to see that Kestrel's eyes were no longer closed but staring at Lillian, and looking warily at our surroundings. She looked up at me and her eyes pleaded with me.

"She wants to be inside," I explained to the others.

Lillian nodded, "Well follow me, I'll show you the guest room.

I was lead into the back room and up a set of stairs to the second floor and then to a room, one of four in a hallway. The room itself was plain for the most part, a large master bed in the center of the room, a desk, a low couch and a door off to the side leading to what looked like a bathroom.

"We'll let you get settled in." Lillian smiled and she and Luke left, Luke setting down the three boxes, which held what little belongings we had.

I set Kestrel down on the bed and sat next to her yawning. Looking back at the bed and the couch I sighed. I really didn't relish sleeping on a couch again.

But sleeping in the same bed as Kestrel…? That was even worse, wasn't it?

"Aww, screw it." I said, and flopped my back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. And before I knew it, I was asleep.

………………..

GAH!! Flaming fireballs of the high heavens! I'm sooooooo sorry! "I promise it on Sunday the least" my ass! Jeeze... well fate and other circumstances prevented the update on Sunday, be here it is now. LATE! When can I promise next chapter? I'm not making any promises... 'cause the next week is unwritten just like next chapter! So! I'll get it to you Soon(TM). _Three months later..._ Just kidding.

Heh. No reveiwer responses this time either... too tired. Oh and the Live Journal has two new pics, one of Knives holding Kes in his arms, _Cute!_ XD and one of Luke and his sister Lily.

Thanks to those who did review! You all, I love you so much! -Hugs and cookies for all-

**Blu-Chan  
DynastyDrummer  
Desmonia  
Rosebud  
sakurasango  
**


	9. Chapter 8: Strange

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter Eight: Strange**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**(Lily)**

"Okay, try this." I said to Kes, handing her one of Luke's shirts.

She stared at it for a few moments then got the idea and, with a little fumbling, slipped over her head.

Knives and Luke had left some hours ago for a monthly meeting with the head honchos at the Plant, leaving me to tend to Kes myself.

The shirt did all right, a little long in the arms but it would do until we could get her some clothes of her own. I would have given her some of my own but unfortunately she was a bit too tall to fit into any of my clothes so we had to raid Luke's closet.

After getting her some clothes I managed to get her to the bathroom for a bath. I had to help her walk a bit, supporting her arm as we walked across the hallway.

She accepted my help with some hesitancy. It made me sad to see this poor girl like this. Whatever had happened to her has stayed etched into her mind even through the amnesia.

It must have been horrible.

Knives had said that Vash the Stampede was to blame. I wondered what these two could have done to receive the wrath of the Legendary Outlaw. Knives hadn't said anything much about it, only that they had to be careful not to attract attention to themselves.

I was curious to know if the Stampede that had attacked Knives and Kes had been the real thing. If you listened to the satellite long enough you'd hear a story about another Stampede impersonator being captured for some crime spree or another.

Whoever this person was they had done something terrible to these two.

In the bath I finally got a good look at the scars on her. Most of it was concentrated around her stomach and back, a long gash going around her side from the top of her belly button to the middle of her back and many more peppered around her back and up her chest.

This would leave life long physical scars, not to mention the psychological ones.

After the bath I led her down to the bottom floor and opened up the bakery. She seemed to really like the big store window. She sat on the edge of it and stared out at the passerby with fascination.

I left her to the window watching and went into the back to start up the ovens.

Hearing a shuffling noise behind me I turned and saw that Kes has followed me. I blinked in surprise, "Oh. Did you want to watch?"

She responded by tilting her head and examining the large baking pans that I had just taken out of the cabinets.

I laughed, "Alright, how about I teach to bake bread?"

She smiled slowly in answer.

Just as I was about to take out the ingredients I heard a call from the front of the store. "I'll be right back" I said to her and hurried out to the front.

"Oh, Missus Clyde! Hello!" I said upon seeing the old woman at the front of the store.

"Hello Lillian, I need to order a cake, for Rochelle's birthday." Mrs. Clyde said.

I nodded, picking up my order tablet, "OK." I finished getting the order from Mrs. Clyde then chatted with her for a few seconds before she left.

Hoping that Kes hadn't gotten into anything bad in my absence I hurried into the back and received a little shock.

She had gotten into the baking goods but not in the way I had expected. Instead she was preparing a small batch of batter. She looked up at me with a smile when I entered.

"How do you know how to do that?" I whispered, "I thought you had amnesia."

Abruptly she let go of the whisk in her hand like it had burned her and backed away from the counter, the smile on her face dieing away into something more thoughtful, like she was remembering something.

Suddenly her eyes widened with horror and she collapsed to the ground.

I rushed to her side, "Are you alright?"

I tried to touch her shoulder but she jerked away and crawled to a corner, she was visibly shaking, whatever memory has presented itself to her had scared her tremendously.

"It's okay." I said, kneeling down next to her and lightly touching her shoulder, "You are safe here now. You are safe."

She leaned into me and I held her as a mother would a frightened child, "It's okay. It's okay."

I must have been mistaken but I thought I heard her whisper something, but I didn't understand what she said, if she did say anything at all.

Ignoring it for a moment I stood and help her to her feet, and back out into the front of the store, "Why don't you sit in the window for a bit?"

She was content to sit there, for the rest of the day, though every time a customer came in she would disappear into the back till he or she was gone. Then she would be back at the window staring out at the world.

……………………

By the time Luke and Knives got back it was almost dark. I alone in the front of the store right now I had led Kes back upstairs because it seemed she was dozing off and probably need to rest.

"Where is she?" Knives asked the moment he entered the store.

"She upstairs sleeping, we had quite a day today." I said not looking up from the orders I was filling out.

"What happened?"

The pencil and my hand that held it paused over the order sheet I was filling out, and then I looked up at Knives and my brother, "I don't think she's completely lost all her memory. At least… I think it's just buried."

"Buried." Knives said quietly, not asking, "Yes… I have assumed this as well."

"You have?"

Knives nodded, then in almost a _demand_ asked, "What made you come to this conclusion?"

I frowned at his tone but summarized the day's events. It really wasn't a big deal, but her remembering how to mix ingredients for bread said that her memory wasn't completely gone. Something of her remained. And the memory that came to her, that one that made her so terrified was another thing.

Knives took the information with an emotionless face, and after all was said, nodded as if it were nothing and disappeared up stairs.

I continued staring at the spot where he had vanished from sight, and then looked up at Luke, "Do you get the feeling that something is going on with those two that he isn't telling us?"

Luke nodded; his eyes narrowed, and he leaned on the counter top, "Definitely… Definitely."

…………………………

**(Knives)**

I opened the door to our room quietly so as not to wake Kestrel. But despite my efforts she turned in the bed and looked at me.

I said nothing to her but placed the bag of tools I was given on the floor next to the desk. The fading daylight wasn't enough to adequately illuminate the room so I switched on the lamp that sat on the desk.

I fell into the chair next to the desk with a sigh,

The day had been a long one; being around the heads of the Plant Facility was like being in a room of retards. It was hard to try and fit in with them and even harder not to just kill them all then and there.

Most of the so-called "Plant Engineers" at the meeting were the most incompetent humans I had ever met. The only human there with even the slightest amount of intelligence when it came to the operation of a Plant was Luke.

I rolled my eyes. Even that was pushing it.

I let out another sigh, the looked over at Kestrel again. She was watching me, her eyes half closed from sleep.

"I wonder, Kestrel, how much you really _do_ remember."

Her eyes opened and closed sleepily.

_Are any of those memories of me?_

I shook my head and turned away. There wasn't room for thoughts like that. I couldn't be--

"Knives…" I heard a whisper and I turned around sharply to look at her. But her eyes were closed. She was asleep.

Had I just imagined it?

……………………..

Well folks... I have returned... Yes shocking. I'm currently fighting a really bad writer's block. I'm surprised I managed to get this chapter written.

Anyway... in the Author Notes LJ I dont' have any Pics today... my writer's block has progressed to affect every area of my life and interests.

BUT I would like to ask if anyone reading this would like to do some fanart for LtL?

It's okay if you don't I just wanted to ask though, becaue I don't know when I'll be able to get another picture drawn but would like something to show off in the LJ. YOUR STUFF! XD

OK... I've rambled enough.

**RR **

**Blu-Chan:** Well this time you will probably kill me for being so late. hehe.

**hope-is-4ever: **Yeah it is very weird, I probably going to meet the end of my author credibility with this fic. hehe, just kiding. Here's your update.

**Didrean Eve: **You are very welcome. And here is your (LATE) update.

**whitewolf7187:** Yes it is. They might make an appearance... but we'll leave that for the future.

**sakurasango: **Thanks! Here's you update.

**Rosebud:** Oh... wow... I don't know wht to say to that. It really makes me so happy to hear! You're reviews ALWAYS make me happy! XD You're kidding! Wow! Well since I didn't get to say it on your birthday... Happy brithday! heh.

**DarkFusion: **Is okay. indeed, Christmas break put me off too. Thanks, and here's your update. :D

**El Hustino:** W00t! So nice to see you again! Oh yes... like a little Sim... he is my pawn! Muwahahaha--cough- excuse me. Even if you had just said "Hi! update soon!" I would be happy to get your review! lol.


	10. Chapter 9: Turn of Events

……………………**..……..**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 9: Turn of Events**

……………………**..……..**

**(Knives)**

The Plant needed some serious work, oh sure it could function, but that's all it _could_ do. I was currently writing up a list of things that need to be tone to get the Plant optimized. With better efficiency the Plant would be less likely to break down.

Everything in the plant was screwed up. I was really shocked that the humans had managed this long without a massive burnout.

Humans and their "ingenuity." I snorted.

Along with trying to work out the problems with the Plants I had been trying to work with Kestrel with her problems.

It was not fun.

In fact while I made a fool of myself trying to get her to learn how to say 'pencil' by saying "pencil" then pointing to the said object, she just looked at me confused then seemed to find the whole thing extremely amusing.

And when I had thrown the pencil to the floor in frustration she had laughed, picked up another pencil and mimicked my frustration, giggling like it was a big joke.

At that point I decided to ignore her and get to work on the Plant problems. She had tried to get my attention at first, I don't know why; she still refused to be touched by me but wanted my attention. She had given up after awhile falling quiet as she sat on the bed behind me. It wasn't strange for her go silent like this. When she did her eyes would look distant and she would stare into space for long periods of time. In those times I wondered if she was remembering something.

I looked back at the bed where Kestrel should have been. _"Should"_ have been.

I blinked in surprise. She was gone. At some point while I had been absorbed in my notes and thoughts she had left the room.

…………….

**(Luke)**

I looked around nervously. Lily was nowhere to be seen. I sighed with relief and stuck my hand into the Savings jar.

The jar that held all our money, because Lily didn't trust banks and refused to even get a savings account.

I needed some money for a little night out with my buds from the Plant. We all took turns buying the beer, and tonight was my turn.

Suddenly I felt a light touch on my back. Surprised I shrieked out of pure shock and flipped around accidentally elbowing the person behind me.

The person, who turned out to be Kes, screamed herself, ran away from me and hid behind the couch.

The commotion brought the sound of two sets of feet, one from the guest room and the other from downstairs in the bakery.

Both Knives and Lily came into the room at the same time, "What happened?" Lily was the first to speak.

"Uh… I… uh." I didn't know what to say, my left hand was still in the money jar and both Lily and Knives were giving me peeved looks.

"You scared her!" Lily cried seeing Kes huddled behind the couch.

"I scared _her_? _She_ scared _me_!" I said, even though the both of them were no longer paying any attention to me but to Kes.

I took my hand out of the jar and looked around guiltily.

Turns out the strike to the face she had gotten from my elbow had started her nose bleeding.

After they had made sure Kes hadn't reopened her major wounds, Lily chewed me out so bad that if it had been physical I would have needed surgery to put all my bones back in place. And Knives well he looked like he wanted to tear me apart, fourtunatly the look passed. But it made we wonder...

………………..

"Who does she think she is," I complained to one in particular, "I mean just because she's ten years older than me she thinks she can rule over my life. I get my weekly "allowance" and that's it! Ask for more and it's all, "We have to manage the budget properly," and "don't be a glutton." Jeez!"

"Well then why don't you get your own place?" Calvin, another one of the weekday Plant Engineers said.

The entire weekday PE's were here including Knives who had grudgingly tagged along saying something about needing some peace and quiet.

"Me and what money!" I cried throwing my hands up in the air.

The others, not including Knives who was reading a standard Plant manual with a look of disgust on his face, laughed.

"Oh, shut up, you nimrods." I said.

That made them laugh even harder.

I shook my head and looked at Knives again, who still had a very disturbed look on his face.

"Hey, Knives? What's with the crusty face?"

Knives looked up from the manual for a moment then back at it and shook his head, "Nothing."

Deana leaned on the table and smiled at Knives, "Knives… that's an interesting nickname… where does it originate from? What I mean is who gave it to you?"

Knives looked at her, with a strange look in his eye, an angry look that lasted for a moment then it was gone as if it had never been there in the first place.

"My… foster mother gave it to me." Knives sighed.

"Oh really? You're adopted?"

Knives grunted in affirmation, he still had a very odd look on his face. He looked uncomfortable. Maybe he just didn't like talking about his parentage.

I decided to change the subject, "So Knives, what are you planning on doing next with Kes?"

He shrugged, "I haven't a clue. I've been trying to teach her language but it's all just a big game to her."

I was about to respond but my beeper went off. The beeper was a special bit of lost technology that had been recreated for the use of us Plant Engineers. It was used to notify us of any emergencies at the Plant.

I read the small screen on the beeper then cursed, "We gotta get the Plant!" I yelled.

"What's happening!" Calvin asked as we ran the five blocks to the Plant.

"The plant is entering the preliminary stages of a meltdown!" I said through my heavy breathing as I ran.

………………….

**(Knives)**

The plant was breaking down; my sister Plant inside the bulb was delirious, the hydrogen pumps flickering on and off sending her into a state of confusion. She couldn't control the bursts of energy much less communicate with me.

Everyone was working to figure out what had triggered the sudden collapse of the entire Plant system. Even I couldn't find out what was wrong. If only she would communicate with me.

Suddenly one of the huge hydrogen batteries exploded sending shrapnel in every direction. I dove behind a control desk just as the energy released from the battery shook the entire complex. The people in the room cleared out of the room, obviously seeing the place as a lost cause.

I heard the Plant cry out in agony. She was dying, and she would most certainly die if I didn't get her out of there.

I took a dive out from my safe place behind the control desk and ran straight into the flames created by the explosion.

I would not let my sister Plant die. I couldn't just sit there at let it happen.

I ascended a ladder up onto the top of the plant bulb and drove my fist into the paneling there, opening it I leapt into the bulb.

…………..

**(Luke)**

When everyone had cleared out and was out side I noticed something missing. "Where's Knives?" I yelled out.

Everyone looked around confused, shaking their heads. No one knew where he was.

He was still inside.

I ran back inside despite the protests of my peers, Knives wasn't stupid, why did he stay in there? What possessed him to…?

Upon entering the plant I was hit with a blast of hot air flowing off of a gigantic blaze. Through the flame I saw Knives… in the Plant bulb. He had his arms around the Plant angel inside and was hastily trying to disconnect the creature from the mechanical devices inside the bulb.

What was he doing? How could he even be _in_ there? Any normal person would have been killed instantly by the pressure and radiation inside the bulb.

As the last connection came loose both he and the Plant angel came dropped to the bottom of the bulb. Knives wasted no time. He pointed his hand at the glass and suddenly, his arm changed slightly making his arm look like some sort of small cannon.

It could have been a trick of the eye brought on by the heat and light emitting from the blaze but I was certain it was not. The small cannon that had become Knives' arm began to glow with a strange ethereal brilliance.

A beam of light shot through the bulb, shattering the glass and sent a whirl of intense energy into the Plant room. I backed up against the wall. What was that? Was Knives creating that?

Knives was suddenly out of the bulb with the Plant Angel in his arms. He saw me and headed in my direction. Not wanting to waste any more time in that room with questions I led him out of there without a word.

But it only deepened the fact in my mind that he and maybe even that girlfriend of his… weren't normal.

……………….

-Kills the evil writer's block- HAHAHAHA! I have killed the evil beast! But I think that my brain was addled by it all… I still don't like this chapter. Sooo hard to write. But I'll leave it up to you all for the opinions.

**AND I GOT FANART!** -Does the happy dance of a thousand smiles- you may see it at the Author's notes Live Journal! It's by the wonderful and most gracious **Blu-Chan**. –Gives hugs-

And a special thanks to **LegacyRBluesummers** for beta-reading.

And to **Blu-Chan** for the feedback.

RR 

**Whitewolf7187:** Well I do apologize quite profusely for leaving you hanging for so long between updates… I will try my hardest to get you the next chapter soon. Fate willing of course.

**Blu-Chan:** Oh yeah about the POV think… I just hadn't had the real chance to change it until that point. I love to write stories from multiple points of view… It gives a story so much more depth… in my mind anyway. I'm glad you like Kes; I've been working my hardest to make her not a MS. And don't worry I understand perfectly. Eee! Thankyouthankyouthankyou for doing some fanart for my story! –More hugs for you-

**Hope-is-4ever:** Well only time will tell, no? And I'm sorry for not having updated soon.

**Dark Fusion:** As always I'm glad you approve. Here is your update!

**Shadowneko003:** Thanks. -)

**Rosebud:** Yeah… well come next chapter the whole cat will be out of the bag. But they'll get along. Hehe, XD yeah-Sings- Knives and kestrel sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G hee hee! And the truck thing… that would be an…. interesting chapter to write. O.O

**El Hustino:** Is okay… Is okay. Me? Not nice? Well… heh heh heh… -evil laugh- No break for the weary… It's going to get much worse… if my writing goes the way it's supposed to. Well now review when you can. Don't strain yourself… YOU need to write as well. –Hint hint-


	11. Chapter 10: Freed Plant

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**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 10: Freed Plant**

……………………**..……..**

**(Knives)**

The heat of the fire at our backs, Luke and I ran through the halls of the plant facility. At first Luke was leading me to the front of the complex then seemed to change his mind and headed for the side of the building.

I didn't understand his reasoning for this until we were out of the building and I saw the gigantic crowd out front.

Explosions rocked the ground as the fires reached flammable chemicals inside; screams and shouts from the front reaching us.

"Over here," said Luke, pointing to a small bench on the side of a small shop. "I'll be right back, going to get the jeep."

I nodded wordlessly and sat wearily down on the bench. I shut out the sounds of the chaos and pandemonium coming from the burning Plant and sighed.

My muscles were sore and my energy sapped, I felt almost like I was going to collapse. I looked down at the plant angel in my arms. Her Angel form was just beginning to shift to the more human form. Her feathery white hair changed to more of a dirty blond and her skin lost its translucency.

I took off my coat and wrapped it around her torso. I was already a conspicuous sight, but having a completely naked woman in my lap would make things worse. Hopefully Luke would get back soon. We hopefully wouldn't be missed by the others, and forgotten in the mass of confusion.

I looked out at the town that was now dark but for the light of the half fallen suns and the moons. I began to wonder if this town would survive without the Plant.

There was no doubt that it would suffer considerably. But it would not compare to the suffering of my brethren. She was free. That's all that mattered. So what if the humans perished.

But somewhere in the back of my mind I felt a nagging sensation. It tickled the back of my mind and made my throat constrict.

Regret.

There was nothing I could have done to save the Plant Facility. It wasn't my fault. These people would suffer because of their own incompetence.

_They don't deserve this. They are good people. _An inner voice whispered, sounding oddly _female_.

'They've enslaved my brothers and sisters', I thought

_They knew not what they were doing. They do not understand what Plants are._

'They should'.

_Do not condemn them, brother. _

Brother…?

I looked down at the Plant, whose eyes were opened to slits but enough for me to see the color of her eyes.

"What do you know? You have not seen what I have. Not been thought what I have." I said bitterly.

She only smiled an enigmatic smile with those grayish-blue eyes of hers then closed them and fell into an apparent sleep.

I frowned. She was just ignorant. Like Vash.

Just then, Luke's jeep pulled up nearby and I wearily lifted the Plant Woman and myself up and headed for the jeep.

I could see that he was curious but oddly enough said nothing as he navigated the dark streets towards home. I was thankful for that. I didn't have the nerve or patience to be asked questions.

…………………….

The second we pulled up to the front of the bakery, Lily came rushing out, "What happened?" she demanded of her brother.

"Later."

"Not later! Now! What happened! Everything was fine and then Kestrel started freaking out and then the power went out and why is there a blaze over there?"

Luke sighed, "Talk later, Lily." He opened his door, pushed past his sister and walked around the side.

We managed to get the unconscious Plant inside, Luke taking most of her weight as my muscles were beginning to give out.

I made my way upstairs after Luke and his sister and fell into the living-room couch with a grunt. I was surprised at how much freeing my sister had taken out of me. I had never expected this kind of strain.

Luke set the Plant woman down next to me just as she was regaining consciousness. Luke smiled half-heartedly at her then backed away.

Kestrel rushed into the room at lightning fast speed. She came to a halt on the other side of the living room across from the couch

She and my sister stared at each other expressionless for a moment.

Then Kestrel gave my sister Plant a solemn look. What she did next shocked me to my core. She walked up to the Plant and pulled her into a hug.

My sister didn't seem to know what to do for a second them gradually accepted the hug.

They separated and Kestrel gave her a goofy smile.

She giggled and stuck her tongue out at Kestrel.

I was at a loss for words. Something just happened but I had no clue whatsoever _what _had happened.

…………………..

Weeell… I just got this chapter back from the Honorable Miss Legacy-chan… sadly I didn't not wake up on the right side of the bed this morning… the left side is quite uncomfortable… for an air mattress anyway… So no RR this time. I'm pooped… just want to relax. And listen to some not so noisy tunes… mmmm Meet Joe Black Soundtrack and Pink Floyd… joy….

If I feel like it later I might add something to the Author's Notes LJ… a writer's rant or something... also start keeping an eye on it as I'm going to leave chapter updates every now and then.

Also sorry for the sucky title… it was last minute… I kept wanting the title to be "Woot" for some odd reason.

Anyways… thanks to those who did review!

**Blu-chan **

**DarkFusion**

**hope-is-4ever**

**El Hustino**

**Rosebud**

**mister smith**

(Apologies for the short chapter and …. I WANT MORE REVIEWS! So review your little buns off! …. Please?)


	12. Chapter 11: Explanations

……………………**..……..**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 11: Explanations**

……………………**..……..**

**(Knives)**

My moment of surprise at Kestrel giving my Plant sister that hug didn't last long. Luke cleared his throat and motioned for me to follow him.

I left Kestrel and my sister on the couch and headed into the kitchen after Luke.

Luke sat down on one side of the kitchen table, Lily already seated beside him. I sat on the other side and stared at them.

"Knives… I don't know if this is the right time… but we have to know."

He leaned forward, his arms crossed on the table, this light from the candle on the table flickering off his features, "What happened back there? What _are_ you?"

I looked between the two of them. Lily also had her arms crossed and her face held little expression.

It was kind of sudden for this to come up, but not altogether surprising. They knew very little about Kestrel and me.

What to do? I was faced with a dilemma.

Should I tell them? If I did then they would most likely call the Feds. If I didn't they would probably could kick us out into the street.

I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking to myself that I needed to get it cut soon. It was getting long enough that it was beginning to fall flat. Mentally I shook myself, now wasn't the time for thinking about cosmetic issues.

It was hard to actually think about the problem at hand, I was very tired from freeing my sister plant. My eyelids felt heavy and I was finding it hard to suppress the yawns that kept forcing their way up.

What to do…

For some reason my mind kept wandering back… back to a time when I would have just shot these two and taken what I wanted, back to a time when I refused to compromise with anything or anyone. Back then I wouldn't adapt to anything. But now… it seemed like everyday I was conceding to something, or someone for that matter. And I was everyday that I felt that I was changing to adapt to my situation.

I let out a sigh. How long had I been lost in my thoughts? How long had Luke and Lily been sitting across the table from me? It felt like an eternity had passed.

I looked over Luke's shoulder into the living room where Kestrel and my still unnamed Plant sister sat in a strange peaceful quiet.

I really had mellowed out a lot.

I felt myself smile a bit, and then I looked down at my clasped hands and began to speak. I don't know how much information Luke wanted. How much he needed to know. But I decided that it was time to lay all my cards out on the table.

I began with the birth of Vash and myself, how we were born and what we were. I spoke of growing up on the Alpha ship of the SEEDs expedition, and of sudden rise in abuse from Steve and also that of my growing anger in the human race. The whole time I was speaking an inner voice was screaming at me for acting like such a weakling. But I tried my hardest to ignore it, clutching my hands together turning my skin white under the pressure, and not looking up.

When I got to the part where I shot Joey and re-programmed the ships into a decent I heard Lily gasp and suddenly I choked. I felt something wet slide down my cheek and come to rest on my lips. I tasted salt.

Tears. I hadn't cried since I was a child. I felt shaken. What was happening? This shouldn't be happening. Why was I crying? Why now?

All the answers in the world couldn't possibly have satisfied my questions. Hastily I wiped the tear away and continued my story, jerkily at first but then it came more smoothly. My tale went on for a long time, from the fifteen-year journey across the sands of Gunsmoke, to the destruction of July, and my gathering of the Gung-Ho Guns to chase after Vash. To my defeat in our battle at the oasis and the journey afterwards where I first met Kestrel.

The two were strangely silent the whole time. Not saying a single word, nor asking one question among the millions I'm sure they had.

When I stopped speaking I let out tremendous sigh. I felt like a great pressure had be released and I felt suddenly so open and light. I was even more tired now then I had been when I started, the weariness had increased ten-fold.

A long period of silence followed the end of my speech but was soon broken by Luke, "Wow. That's some heavy shit man."

I said nothing in response, I didn't know if I had the strength to even open my mouth. I wanted nothing more at that moment than to just go to bed.

I hated being like this, feeling like a weakling, being a weakling. But what was I to do? I probably didn't' even have the mental or physical energy to flip some one off. Growling under my breath I pushed myself to me feet and despite the sudden wave of nausea I stumbled towards the guest room like a drunk, and plopped down on the bead, falling asleep instantly.

Let Luke and Lily have the night to think all of it over.

………………….

**(Lily)**

Luke and I watched in silence as Knives disappeared from sight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kestrel watching him as well, then she stood up and followed after him, leaving the Plant woman by herself in the living room.

Luke and I exchanged a look, and then I got out of my seat and entered the living room. "Do… do you speak?" I asked the Plant.

She nodded, but said nothing.

"Do you have a name?"

She tilted her head to the side in thought, "I have—designation—my Plant designation…" she stuttered out, then she paused for a moment and took a deep breath, "Me, my designation is—Ship 249, Sector B, Cluster 9, A.B. 2."

I raised my eyebrows, "Oookay. That's not exactly a name."

The Plant woman shook her head slowly, and then began to pick idly at her hair.

"Well, we can't call you that… not really. How about you pick a name?"

"What… should I… pick?" She looked up me, her eyes blinking on curiosity.

I sat down on the couch next to her shrugged, "It's really up to you."

The both of us were quiet for a few minutes as she looked around the room like she was looking for something to name herself after. There was really nothing much in the room that would really be appropriate.

"What—what is her name?" The Plant was pointing to a very old photograph that sat on the coffee table in the center of the room. The photograph was one of Luke and my Grandmother when she was only a child.

"Her name was Louisa."

The Plant nodded as if pleased, and whispered, "I remember." The before I could ask her what she meant, she spoke up, "Would you mind… if I took that… name?"

I blinked, "No. No not at all."

She smiled, "Thank you."

I nodded.

How strange. It made me thing that the Plant had known our Grandmother at some point, considering the lifespan it was entirely possible, "Well!" I said, clapping my hands together, "Louisa, what do you say that we get you something more… fitting to wear. Oh. Luke? Do you mind sleeping on the couch tonight?"

Luke waved his hand absently from where he was still sitting at the kitchen table.

"Come," I led Louisa down the hallway, carrying a candle to light the way.

……………………………

Chapter done! O.O It… seems like Knives got a bit too OCC there for a minute.. but I'll leave that up to you for the talking about.

Apparently my demand for reviews didn't come off as I'd hoped… oh well… demanding never worked out for me anyway.

Thanks to **LegacyRBluesummers** for Beta-reading!

I'll get right to the **Review Replies**:

**Blu-Chan:** Yeah, actually the hug was a spur of the moment thing… Here is your update!

**Whitewolf7187:** I'm not really sure how she will act, but she will be difficult. I hope. Heh.

**Lunis:** Yay! I'm sooo glad you like it! XD

**LegacyRBluesummers:** Odd that you would say that… as, I too, had you in mind. o.O

**Hope-is-4ever:** Here be your update, sadly nothing on what happened between Kestrel and the Plant is explained. Next chapter maybe.

**Rosebud:** -snicker- INDEED! Lol! Oh and I'm sorry for so much time between updates.

**El Hustino:** Of course of course, better late than never! Exactly! XD A confused Knives is.. quite funny. Muwahaha. Yes…

**DarkFusion**: Is okay. Like with Hustino, better late than never!

**Heartfailure:** Well hello there! Welcome back! So nice to see you again. That's nice of you to say, but I'm sure there are FAR better writers than me. I hope you continue to enjoy!

P.S. Please review? Purty please, with a cherry on top? –runs off to hide in a little corner-


	13. Chapter 12: The Beginning of the Storm

**

* * *

Learning to Live**

**Chapter 12: Beginning of the storm**

**

* * *

**

**(Luke)**

"What do you want me to do?" I said angrily to my fellow Plant engineer.

"I don't know! If I knew that I wouldn't be talking to you!" Carlyle spat out.

It was the day after the destruction of the Plant. Smoke still rose from the destroyed building putting a figurative and literal dark cloud over the whole town. No one seemed to know what to do. Everyone was in shock, listlessly moving about the now powerless town, and the sudden tensions had progressed into arguments like the one I was having now.

"Well I don't know either!"

Carlyle just raised his hand, stopping the argument and stomped off.

I growled under my breath, and sighed.

Even though it was well past noon,the horizon to the north was beginning to darken with an angry brown, a clear sign that a typhoon was approaching.

It was a very inopportune time for a typhoon. With them came injuries and death, and the White Sands Clinic was now running on a generator that was only supposed to last for a three days. This whole town was already falling apart at the seams.

Without the Plant this town would slowly die and fade away. Buried under the relentless sand.

I looked up at the window of Knives and Kestrel's room.

I didn't blame him, Knives. He did what he had to do. The Plant woman, Louisa, she was a sibling in their race. I'm sure that if I had been in his position I would have done the same thing.

As for wanting the destruction of the human race… I didn't know _what_ to think of that. All that information that Knives had given us last night still hadn't all sunk in.

I looked away from the dark window and headed around the building to the back. I would have to start work on some sort of power generation device. Solar power and wind power were my only two options. Waterpower was impossible as there were no places to put a water wheel.

The town's source of water was too far down, only to be reached by a deep well. This was another problem; the water was pumped up to the town level by a long string of pipes, which were powered by the plant.

Without water no one would last long. That had to my first objective then. Getting the water pumping again.

The only problems with the other two energy generation choices were that the technology had been lost to us for years. The last of the Plant computer banks here in White Sands had been dismantled and due to someone's stupidity the hard drives had been destroyed.

I stopped in my tracks when I came around the side of the building and saw Kes standing behind the house. She was standing there with her hands raised to the sky towards the midday suns.

"What the--" I started.

A strange purple glow emanated from her body. Before I had a chance to grasp it, Lily voice called out, "Luke, Kes, lunch time!"

Her hands dropped and she turned around, she saw me and smiled then said very clearly, "I know something."

With that she disappeared inside.

* * *

**(Knives)**

I awoke to the sound of clattering dishes and conversation. Groggily I pushed myself out of bed and stepped onto the cold floor.

The light emanating from the window was a rusty color. I peered out the window and saw the horizon filled with the ominous darkness of a sand typhoon.

I turned away from the window and headed for the door. Kestrel suddenly rushed in and grabbed a piece of paper of the desk, she grinned, "Hello, Knives."

Then she was out the bedroom door again.

_She spoke? _

I wandered down the hall and peered into the kitchen.

"Louisa, here." Lily handed my plant sister, who was in the kitchen too, a plate.

_Louisa? Who…? Her name is Louisa… _

My sister—Louisa—took the plate and dried it with a cloth. Lily noticed me a moment later smiled wearily, "Oh, Knives, we just had lunch… would you like something."

I shook my head slowly.

"Where is Kestrel?" I asked.

Lily's brow furrowed for a moment, "I'm not sure where she is at the moment. She's been acting strange all morning."

"Has she spoken?"

Lily nodded and went back to scraping food off of the plates in front of her, "I don't really understand it. She suddenly went from saying nothing at all to speaking in short sentences."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Louisa smile. I looked at her directly, but the smile was gone replaced by a calm face.

I narrowed my eyes. Could she have something to do with Kestrel's sudden jump in improvement?

"I think she my have remembered something of her past too." Luke's voice spoke out from stairway.

"Why do you say that?" Lily asked him, turning her head to look at him curiously.

"She said so, earlier. Before you called us in for lunch. Well… actually she said: 'I know something.'"

Lily gave me a look that I couldn't decipher, and then looked away.

Kestrel appeared in the kitchen again from the back deck. She was still holding that piece of paper, which was now folded in half.

She grinned at me, and came to stand right in front of me.

I wonder… 

I reached up my hand to touch her head. But she didn't back away. The grin and the laughter in her eyes stayed constant. And with that, I was finally able to touch her with her not being afraid, as I stared into her eyes I felt my heart clench for a moment.

* * *

"We have to do something," Luke said. 

We all were sitting in the kitchen an hour after I had woken. Kestrel was sitting next to me on the right examining her fingers and playing with the edges of the piece of paper in her hands, while Louisa sat to my left and the Morgan siblings sat opposite us.

"This town will die if we don't."

Lily shook her head, "What could we possibly do? We have no access to alternate sources of knowledge to possibly come up with something in the time that we have to live. This town is land locked. It's a four-month journey to get to the nearest settlement. We'll all be dead by the time any kind of rescue comes."

My sister jumped to her feet, "Brother! You can help them can't you? You have--"

"No." I said firmly.

"But--"

"No." I said again, bitterly, "I will not help to further human survival."

Both Luke and Lily blinked in surprise.

Louisa's excited eyes changed to those of determination, "Then teach me. I will help them!"

I gritted my teeth, "You misunderstand me; I will not help them, that includes teaching _you_ to help them."

The fist that she had clenched over her chest, unclenched and she let out a disappointed noise, "But why?" Here eyes searched mine.

I began feeling anger welling up inside me, "Why can't you understand the these humans are killing our people? They are _killing_ us!"

Louisa let out a disgusted sigh, "It is you who does not understand, _brother. _You prattle on about the same thing _every _time. What makes you thing that we didn't choose this path? Have you ever asked one of us for our opinion?"

"All of you are too naive to understand your situation."

This seemed to make her angrier, "You are the one who is naïve! You are the one who does not listen to reason! You are the one--"

At that moment I felt Kestrel's hand come to rest on my arm, I was so angry I whipped out my hand and knocked Kestrel away.

There was a collective gasp from the others in the room.

"Don't touch me, _human._" I said with malice dripping off of those few words.

Kestrel hesitantly touched her suddenly bleeding lip.

"Don't ever touch me again."

Kestrel eyes stared into mine, the shock evident in them suddenly disappearing to be replaced by tears. Suddenly she staggered to her feet and ran down the stairwell, seconds later I heard the front door slam.

There was silence all around. I continued to stare at the spot where Kestrel had been knocked the ground.

"What is your problem!" Lily suddenly cried out, "Have you lost your mind!"

Before I could respond or even think of an answer the front door below was opened and someone was running up the stairs.

A kid in his teens appeared, "Luke! Lily!" he rushed, "Everyone is being ordered to take cover in the cliffs!"

"What? Why?" Luke asked.

"The sandstorm!" he breathed, "It's worse than was originally predicted. This one is a major killer, highest level of storm anyone has ever seen! Hurry to the cliffs! Take only your essentials, this town is going under… for good!" Then with that the kid was gone.

I stood, not looking at the other three.

Louisa also stood and walked to the spot where I had knocked Kestrel. The little piece of paper she had been carrying around was lying on the floor. Louisa picked it up and unfolded it. Her eyes widened.

"Louisa?" Lily approached her and also looked at the paper, and then she looked up at me, "What have you done?"

I glared at her, then ripped the paper out of her hand. On it were written in sloppy, but legible handwriting, four words.

I felt my blood, my body and my entire world stop. The sound of the wind hitting the shutters outside stopped. My eyes widened and my hands began to shake. I dropped the paper like it had burned me. I turned on my heel and rushed down the stairs and out the door as fast as was possible for me. Then I began running through the streets looking for her. For Kestrel.

Those four words would not leave my minds eye. They were seared there burning a painful brand into my mind.

* * *

'_I love you, Knives.'_

* * *

.

* * *

Weeeelll… are you surprised to see me?

Truly… I am surprised to see myself. I cannot explain how sorry I am that I left you guys alone for so long. But it couldn't be helped. Writers block. EVIL writers block. I finally got some good advice from my dad about breaking writer's block, and here I am.

Those are the benefits of having a Dad who is also a very experienced writer. Woot!

No Review Responses this time… I would, but I'm lazy and I want to get this chapter out.

Thanks to **Blu-Chan** for being my substitute beta.

Within the next couple of days I should have a full posty in the Author Notes LJ. See ya next time! -HUGS for all-


	14. Chapter 13: Realizations

**-----------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 13: Realizations**

**-----------------------------**

**(Luke)**

"Knives!" I yelled after him, stumbling over the furniture trying to follow him. I rushed down the stairs unable thervive it!" I turned back to her and glared.

Lily hesitated for a moment, "Remember Luke, he's not human--"

"So?"

"_So_ he's over 130 years old! He's probably been through a ton of these storms! _We_ haven't, _we_ don't have a chance unless we get to the cliffs!"

"But--"

"Go if you want, you know you'll die in the process. But, please, listen to your reason! There's no" I turned back to her and glared.

Lily hesitated for a moment, "Remember Luke, he's not human--"

"So?"

"_So_ he's over 130 years old! He's probably been through a ton of these storms! _We_ haven't, _we_ don't have a chance unless we get to the cliffs!"

"But--"

"Go if you want, you know you'll die in the process. But, please, listen to your reason! There's no telling where he went, or have you suddenly gained Plant powers in the past few seconds?"

I gnawed on the insides of my cheek. I knew she was right, but it didn't feel right leaving him out there. A blast of harsh sand against my face jerked me back to reality and I nodded to my sister, running after her up the stairs.

Louisa was still sitting in kitchen holding the piece of paper Kestrel had dropped. "Louisa, we have to go." Lily said like she was expecting an argument.

But Louisa just nodded, "I understand. He will be all right. It is time for him to come to terms with his feelings. He cannot forever live in denial of what is right in front of him." She stood. "Shall we get going?"

Both Lily and I nodded, silently. I hoped that he would survive. Even though all the bad things he'd done, all the evil he had committed, I still felt that he was commendable. At lest for _why_ he had done all those horrible things.

**(Knives)**

I pushed past the humans running in the opposite direction, calling out Kestrel's name. I didn't expect an answer and didn't get one. Sand pelted my skin, the wind pushing against me as I sprinted through the sand-hazed streets. I couldn't sense her presence any more then I could the days previous.

The streets were quickly emptying of people but it didn't help me in the slightest. Kestrel could be anywhere by now.

"Kestrel!" I yelled, trying to be hard over the raucous bellow of the wind, "Where are you!"

Half of the sky was now covered with a dark brown and black cloud. It was like the fingers of a demon reaching out over the already distraught town and sinking its fingers into the very earth.

I stumbled, as the wind got harsher, and stopped for a moment. I reached out my mind again and tried the sense Kestrel's presence. It was still dead to me. I couldn't even feel a fraction of it.

"Kestrel!" There was no one but me. The people of the town were gone. I was alone.

"Kestrel!" I yelled again, with some slight hope the she would hear me. The answer I got wasn't what I expected. I heard a loud rumble and suddenly the roof of one of the buildings was flying towards me.

I dug the ball of my food into the ground, ran and leapt out of the way. The roof slammed to the ground then collided with another building.

I breathed a sigh.

Kestrel!- I yelled out telepathically this time, -Kestrel can you hear me! Answer me!-

And then for a split second I felt her presence. It was all I needed. Targeting the area, I took off at a run.

My only thoughts, as I tore through the streets, were of finding her safe and unharmed. I didn't think about the fact that I was bleeding from all over my body from being sucker punched with flying metal and glass.

The wind was getting harsher and faster with every passing second. I felt like my skin was being torn off. I was going blind from all the sand getting in my eyes, and I could hardly breathe without getting sand in my nose and mouth.

I pushed past fallen buildings and dodged airborne rubble. It seemed as if I was never going to make it. I could hardly see. My sense of touch was on fire.

I tripped and fell to my knees. _No! I cannot give up!_ I dug my hands into the sand and lurched to my feet. _I wont give up._

Kestrel! Where are you!-

There! I saw her. She was huddled in a doorway with her head between her knees and arms doing their best to protect her.

I rushed over to her and collapsed to my knees in front of her, I reached out and touched her arm, "Kes?"

She looked up. Her eyes were stained with tears and sand.

"I'm sorry." I said. "_I'm sorry_."

She closed her eyes and inched away.

"Please, Kes. We can't stay here. It's not safe."

She shook her head, "Leave."

"Fine." I said and grabbed onto her, pulling her up. She struggled angrily against me, trying to get away but I held onto her tightly, "Please, if you can possibly find the ability… please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She stopped struggling and stood limply in my arms, and whispered almost inaudibly in the wind, "Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?" She said louder, and looked up at me.

"I… I don't know."

She looked away, her face grimacing.

"I don't know if I love you and… I don't know if I don't love you." I said carefully.

A hot flare of energy washed over my body forcing me to let her go. She slipped past me and ran down on of the streets before I had a chance to regain my composure. I stumbled after her, "Wait!" She twisted the corners of the streets like it were some grand maze managing to stay virtually out of sight the whole time.

I caught up with her just as she entered one of the buildings. I forced my way in, but she wasn't there.

"Kes?" I looked around the dark insides of the building. It looked like it was a warehouse of some kind.

The sounds of the rising storm outside were muffled now. Replaced by the squeaks and groans of the building. "Kestrel!" I looked around once more.

A shuffling noise drew my attention to the far center of the warehouse. I quickly sprinted towards the noise and caught Kestrel's arm before she could react.

"What are you doing? It's not safe here. We have to get to the cliffs."

She shook her head, "No. Go Away!"

"I will not!"

She glared up at me, "Why?"

My mouth opened but no words dared leave the safety of my tongue. She was right. What was I doing, chasing after a human? An angry hand squeezed my insides.

_You know why._ A voice taunted him from the back of his mind.

I loosened my grip on her arm, realizing abruptly that I'd been squeezing too hard. "I don't know, Kestrel." I lied, "But please forgive me for hurting you." I looked away when her eyes narrowed at me.

The she leaned into me, sighing, and over the roar of the wind I heard her say, "It's okay. It's enough. I forgive you."

As if suddenly angered, a staggering wind crashed into the building. The walls around us shifted and complained under the pressure of the winds. I held Kestrel close and glared at the walls and ceiling, daring them to come down on us.

Abruptly, the small amount of light coming from the windows was gone. And we were blanketed in darkness. All I had were the thundering noises to clue me into what was happening outside.

Without warning the floor shook, and I heard the ceiling and walls begin to topple. I shielded Kestrel as best I could but to no avail. A large heavy object struck me from behind knocking me to the ground, taking Kestrel down with me.

I felt a lightning shock of pain in my arm. A large heavy load was on my shoulders weighing me down. I gasped for air; I could feel Kestrel under me. "Kestrel? Are you okay?"

"Y—" She coughed, "Yes."

"Good." I sighed, "good." She was safe.

"Knives?" Her voice was faint. Why was her voice so far away? _Kestrel?_ I tried calling out. _Kestrel? Where are you? _

But everything was in a void now. I could hear nothing. See nothing. Strange warmth accompanied the darkness. It was comforting in a sense, making the emptiness less lonely.

It also felt familiar. Kestrel? Was she doing this?

Kestrel can you hear me? I tried to say telepathically. There was no answer. The dark warmth prevailed.

I don't know how long it lasted, the darkness. But for a moment, before I fell into true unconsciousness I saw light and heard voices.

And then I was gone.

--------------------------------


	15. Chapter 14: Feeling Different

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 14: Feeling Different**

**---------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

I couldn't feel anything, but I could hear a thousand voices all whispering in my ear. I tried my best to open my eyes but I didn't have any eyes see with. I didn't have any hands to touch with. I didn't have any feet to walk with.

_Knives._ One voice shuddered though me, a slight whisper that held the power of thunder. Kestrel's voice. 

Kestrel? Kestrel, is that you? Where are you?

_Knives. It's time to wake up._

_Knives… please wake up. Please…wake up. Please…_

Her voice faded along with the others. I called out to her again, but there was no answer.

Only darkness.

Only silence.

However… there was something else. I couldn't see it, but I sure as hell could _feel_ it. It was cold rift. A crack or tear in my consciousness. It was pulsating, getting wider with every pulse. I reached out my mind—

**FFFFFFFFFFFT! **

Sudden white light enveloped me for searing second, and then I found myself standing in a vast plain. Swirling brown clouds covered the sky, reaching past the horizon into darkness.

At one pint the ground under my feet must have held water, but now it looked like a drought had laid waste to everything in sight.

I looked down at my body, grateful now to have one. I hadn't liked the feeling of _nothingness._

Stepping forward I began walking. I didn't know where, the ground was flat and lifeless and nothing rose above the cracked surface.

"Hello!" I called out, but my voice fell on dead air.

Without warning the ground began to shake and one of the cracks in front of me began widening. Majestically a single purple vine twisted up from the crack taking root on the sheer edges of the large crevasse. A large flower began growing on the vine, gradually growing to the size of a small house. Its petals trembled, then sighed open. Inside the gigantic flower was Kestrel.

She was lying down inside the flower, her chest rising and falling slowly. Peacefully. Her eyes fluttered open. She pushed herself up to sit then moved forward to sit on the edge of the flower between two of the petals

"Kestrel?"

She smiled then jumped down. I stepped forward to stand in front of her.

"Hello." She said.

"Kestrel, where are we?"

She just shook her head as if I was asking a silly question, and then rested her hands on my shoulders. Before I could ask what she was doing, she pulled herself upwards and kissed me.

Fire burst though my veins, startling me, and I felt a strange pressure building inside of my head. Suddenly the cracked, dead, barren, landscape burst forth with grass and tiny flowers. The ugly clouds in the sky dissipated and a sparking blue sky appeared. The ground shook and far off near the horizon mounds of earth rose into the air creating mountains.

Kestrel broke off the kiss abruptly, took my hand and began running leading me after her. She waved her hand in front of there and an opening appeared in the air. She ran through it and—

I gasped and opened my eyes. I looked around and a white plaster room met my gaze. Off to the side was a heart beat monitor slowly beeping away.

I heard a sigh and looked down towards my hand, where I saw Kestrel, her head resting on the edge of the bed and her hand looped though mine.

I turned my head the other way to see out the crack in the curtains coving the window. I could see tall buildings. I blinked, very confused. Where were we? White Sands didn't have any building that tall.

Voices broke interrupted my flow of thoughts. I glanced at the door just as a two people, a woman and a man, stepped in. I recognized neither of them.

The man saw me eyeing him then his face broke out in grin, "Mr. Morgan! How are you feeling?'

_Mr. Morgan? _"Fine." I said hesitantly.

"Good!" He laughed when he saw Kestrel, "Ahh, the poor thing will be happy you're awake. She's been with you the nearly the whole time."

"Whole time…" I repeated, dumbly, "How long?"

"Huh?"

I sat up ignoring the sudden punch of nausea, and gasped, "How long have I been asleep?"

He hesitated then said: "Over a month."

---------------------------------

"…And then this guy started throwing apples at him!" Kestrel laughed.

"No kidding?" I said morosely.

It was about an hour later, I was sitting up in the bed propped up against some pillows, and listening to Kestrel as she told stories about the people she had been interacting with here in Lawson City.

I was feeling very impatient, the doctor had said that he would contact my brother, which nearly made me choke the man because I thought he was talking about Vash. Fortunately for him he mentioned Luke's name before I had a chance to get up. So Luke had told them I was his brother? I really wanted to know what had brought that on.

Kestrel got up from her sat having finished ranting about the traffic and went to look out the window, "Knives?"

"Hmm?"

"Where do I come from?"

Before I could say anything, she was right up in my face; "There are no others like myself here! Am I the only one?"

"No." I said. I moved my head back a little. Remembering the kiss in that _place._ Wherever that place had been.

"Where are they, then? Can we go meet them? Do I have a family?"

I raised my fingers to her lips, quieting her. "Ask me later, Kes, I'm too tired right now." I lied.

She sighed and leaned down to rest her head on my chest, "Sorry."

I looked down at her surprised, and then felt the edges of my mouth tug up, "Don't worry about it."

I touched her hair for a moment, not really thinking about it, and then dropped my hand. I let out a breath, frustrated with Luke for taking so long.

I eyed Kestrel again. She was staring off into space, obviously thinking about something. I thought that she had some of her memories back. Didn't she remember Lanoth, or her family?

_-The only thing she remembers is you, Knives.-_ Louisa's telepathic voice echoed in my head and I saw her standing inside the door. I hadn't even heard her enter.

_-Only me?-_ I prompted.

She nodded, came in and sat in one of the chairs, _-Everything else, her family, her friends her whole life are faint whispers. Every moment that she spent with you is what she remembers.- _Louisa greeted Kestrel out loud,_ -The hate and anger you directed at her as well as the quiet moments you spent together, now added to the kindness you've showed her recently. Her mind is in turmoil. She doesn't know what to believe.-_ Louisa held my gaze for a moment before striking up a conversation with Kestrel.

I went back into my own memories and thought back to all the time she and I had spent together before Seldokas had taken her away. I had been so cruel to her. Why did she even stay around me?

Because weather or not you want it to, Knives, You are changing, she sees it and feels it. And because she loves you more than anything.-

_-How come you know so much?- _I demanded of her.

_-Because it's so easy to see.- _

Luke entered then. He looked haggard and tired. His work shirt was covered with dust and sweat.

Louisa stood and beckoned Kestrel to come with her, "We'll leave you two to talk. Come on Kes, I hear the cafeteria has some fresh cake baked up."

She and Kes left and Luke took Louisa's seat, "Good to see you awake, Knives." He grinned.

"Yes… Tell me: How did we get here… brother?"

He let out a bark of laughter, "Brother… yeah. Well, back in the cliffs, in White Sands we found this spaceship. I think it was the same one you came back from the moon in."

"Oh."

"After the storm we spent about a day trying to figure everything out, and used the life sensor to find you and Kes." He whistled, "Kes was doing alright, a little dehydration but you… you were so banged up that our town's doctor ordered us to bring you here. Major blood loss, six broken ribs, one broken arm, both legs broken, and a _pipe_ through your shoulder." Luke shuddered as if just remembering the sight made him sick.

I touched my shoulder where I felt slight almost unnoticeable twangs and said nothing.

"Hey, man? You okay?"

I glanced at him tiredly, "What do you mean?"

"I don't know… you just seem… different, that's all." Luke just shook his head, "Ah, it's probably nothing, I've been working too hard today."

Luke began chatting about what had happen since the storm but I just tuned him out. Luke hadn't been working too hard, because now that I thought about it... I _felt_ different, and for some reason I knew it had something to do with Kestrel and that strange dream.

---------------------------------


	16. Chapter 15: Accidental Meeting

**------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 15: Accidental Meeting**

**------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

"I don't see why we have to go out." I complained from my spot on the couch, not liking the slight whine that entered my voice.

I had been released from the hospital only three days ago. The doctor had waved us off, a confused look on his face. He'd commented on the lack of residual signs of injury on my body. No scars or blemishes on the skin. I had chuckled to myself at that, but didn't say anything more to the doctor on the subject.

Luke, Lily and Louisa had all been staying at a small apartment in the city, close the city's Plant Facility where Luke had taken up work. Louisa and Lily had both been working to settle the former inhabitants of White Sands into the new city. The townsfolk had long decided that it was time that they left that uninhabited and dangerous location.

"I want to see the town," Kestrel said, pouting her bottom lip. She'd been with me the whole time, always following me around, always there whenever I turned. It was getting annoying. Now suddenly she wanted to go explore the town.

"Then go by yourself." I replied, grumbling.

She muttered something, looked away and nibbled at a fingernail.

"What did you say?" I asked, looking up at her, doing my best to keep a glare from forming on my face.

She lifted her nose up to the sky, looked down at me, and said hotly, "I called you Lumpy!"

"Lumpy?" I shot up from my seat to stand over her. She grinned up at me, not afraid at all, "I'm not lumpy!"

"Well," she said, looking impishly at me, "You're going to be if you don't get some exercise."

"I will not. A Plant doesn't get fat." I crossed my arms and looked away.

"You really wanna find out?" she giggled, patting my stomach playfully, "Soon you'll look like Mrs. Gregory!" Mrs. Gregory was the pregnant woman who lived just across the hall from our apartment. She was bigger than her doorway and had trouble leaving and entering.

"Will not." I shot back.

"Will too!" She laughed.

"Whatever! I'm not going!" I plopped back into the couch.

"Fine… Then I'll go out, and when I get kidnapped by some evil drug-lord who turns me into his sex-slave, you'll only have yourself to blame." She began prancing towards the door.

"Alright, alright, I'll go!" I sure as hell didn't want her getting into trouble, not after I spent a whole month in a coma for her.

She whipped around, her eyes bright, "Really? Yay!" She took a running leap at me, knocked me to the ground, and sat on my stomach grinning down at me, "Thanks Knives!"

"Get off or we're not going!" I threatened.

"Awww, Knives!"

"GET OFF!"

**(Kestrel)**

The buildings were so big! I'd never seen anything like this before! The buildings that used to be in White Sands couldn't compare to this at all. There were so many buildings, and so many people!

I laughed and skipped down the sidewalk grinning at the other people I passed and looking at the things people were selling.

Knives was tagging along, but going so slowly. I looked back at him, frustrated. Why couldn't he hurry up? The sooner we explored the city the sooner we could go home. What a lumpy.

I sighed and proceeded to look through a rack of colorful scarves. I couldn't understand why he was always a sponge head. Everyone had refused to talk to me about his past, even Louisa, who had been teaching me everything so far.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was so stiff all the time, even now in such a relaxed atmosphere around the shops. I could just feel the tense energy wafting off him.

I needed to do something to loosen him up. I grinned at the scarf in my hand and gently put it back in its place on the rack, "Hey, Knives!"

He glanced at me, "What?"

"Follow me!" I grabbed his hand and ran through the crowds before he had a chance to protest. I navigated my way through the endless churning sea of people and stopped in front of a brightly colored Ice Cream stand.

While Knives demanded to know what I'd done that for, I ordered two Rainbow Delights from the Ice Cream stand person.

I gave him some of the money that Lily had given me and turned around to face Knives, "Here!" I put one of the ice cream cones up to his nose.

"What?"

"It's ice cream!"

"I know it's ice cream, why are you giving it to me?"

I gave him a playful glower, "To eat, silly!"

The look on his face said, 'ridiculous.' "No." he said, "I'm not eating that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's…"

Suddenly he hissed and grabbed my arm, dragging me into an alleyway. "Knives? What is it?"

"Damn it. Damn it." He was ignoring me, looking back behind us, a look of worry on his face. He abruptly stopped, making me crash into his shoulder and drop the ice cream.

"Oh!" I heard another voice say, "Oh, my. Mr. Knives?"

**(Knives)**

_Crap. Not this._ I thought. Why now?

Milly looked up at me, her eyes disbelieving, "You're… you're alive." The bag she'd been carrying had fallen to the ground loosing cups of pudding and baby food all over the ground.

"Yeah…" I said. I didn't know what to say to her. I hadn't prepared for this because I hadn't expected to see her or any of the others for a very long time.

"Mr. Vash will be so happy!" She cried, clapping her hands together.

Cold shock hit my brain, "No! No, you can't tell him!" I'd just seen him out there, in the crowds. I didn't want to meet him. I didn't want to see him at all. That's why I'd dragged Kestrel in here-- Kestrel…

I looked behind me. She was staring down, disappointed with the two sad looking balls of melted ice cream on the ground.

"Kestrel!" Milly cried again, she pushed passed me and pulled Kestrel into a hug. Kestrel visibly stiffened for a moment. Then she relaxed, and said calmly, "Do I know you?"

Milly stepped back, shocked, "Don't you remember me?"

Kestrel shook her head.

"But… why?"

"Seldokas." I said to Milly as if that's all the explaining that was needed.

"Oh." Milly knew exactly what I meant, at least partially. She hesitated a few more seconds.

"Don't tell Vash." I said to her firmly.

"But… why? He's been so sad since you… well, since we thought you died." She looked down at the fallen bag.

"I'm…" I sighed, suddenly feeling like my entire body had been sapped of energy, "I'm not ready yet. Please, huma—Milly. I'm not ready to face him."

Milly nodded, with a sad look on her face, "OK. I understand." Then she looked up at me curiously, at Kestrel, then back to me, "Oh, oh, oh. I really wish there was some way we could keep in contact."

"Why can't you?" I asked, just out of curiosity, it wasn't like I wanted to keep in contact anyway.

"We're… searching for someone. So we're moving around a lot lately."

"Who?"

She bit her lip, like she wasn't sure of something, "I don't know who he or she is. But they… want some thing from me."

"From you?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes." She nodded, very seriously, "Nick said that we should find them first before they get to me. So we've been following a lot of clues in the past few months." She looked around the alleyway all of a sudden, "Oh! I really have to go! Nick will be wondering where I am. I said I'd only be out for a few minutes."

She gathered her things off the ground and looked up at me with a sad smile, "It was nice to see you again, Mr. Knives. I hope we meet again, soon." With that she walked passed us and back out into the sunlight.

"Is she a friend of yours?" Kestrel asked, watching Milly disappear into the crowd.

"No." I grabbed Kestrel's hand, "C'mon, let's go home. I'm tired."

**------------------------------**


	17. Chapter 16: Changes

**----------------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 16: Changes**

**----------------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

_They were here! Why?_

It was late. Hours after our encounter with Milly. Kestrel had gone to bed, but not after complaining about not getting to spend very much time in the Marketplace.

Right now I was pacing the bedroom, in front of the bed, trying to figure out what to do next. If I was in such close proximity to Vash there was no telling if he'd be able to sense me.

I sat on the edge of the bed, sighing. _Would we have to leave?_

I turned my head to look at the sleeping Kestrel. She murmured in her sleep, a light smile on her lips.

I grumbled in my throat and lay back onto the bed. Everything was getting so messed up these days. I couldn't go anywhere without bumping into something unpleasant. Not that Kestrel was unpleasant…. Not really…

I turned on my side and watched her as she slept. Daily, she was energizing my life. Without her around, I would feel so… dull.

It was stupid really. I didn't understand any of this. I didn't even try anymore.

"_Do you love me?" _Her words from that time echoed in my mind.

"_Do you love me?"_

_I don't know… I don't know. _

I touched her face, coaxing the little strands of her hair away from her closed eyes. Her eyelids fluttered for a moment and she mumbled incoherently. Then she snuggled up close to me.

I paused for a moment.

Then I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on hers. I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I would worry about Vash tomorrow.

"_Do you love me?" _

I felt my lips curl into a smile.

_Yes._

----------------------------------------

The next morning I woke with Kestrel's warmth gone. Had I really slept so deeply? Where did she go?

I slipped out of bed and ambled down the hall towards the kitchen. Luke and Louisa were in the dining room eating breakfast. Kestrel was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Kestrel?" I asked the two.

Luke swallowed his bite of cereal and pointed over his shoulder, absently, "She and Lily went out to the Marketplace."

"What!" I burst out.

They looked surprised, "Uh… ah" Luke stuttered.

I grabbed on of Luke's baseball caps, slipped on my shoes and headed out into the light morning crowds. There was a great risk that Vash or one of the others would see Kestrel. I did not want to get entangled with Vash right now. Not until _I_ was ready.

**(Kestrel)**

"Ooooh, What should I get him?" I asked Lily as I examined all the windows full of different objects to buy.

"I'm not sure." Lily replied. She stopped in front of a gunsmiths shop, and I stopped with her.

"You know… He's always toting around that gun of his. But he never has a holster. Maybe you ought to get one of those."

I squealed in delight, "Yes! That would be perfect!"

I entered the gunsmith's shop and went right for the holsters stall. There were so many kinds. Ones for the leg, the hip, the chest and many more.

Lily looked over my shoulder, as I picked one up and examined the little engraved designs, "I don't think a leg or chest one would work. His gun is too big."

"Yeah… the hip one would be good." She commented.

I looked closely at the hip holsters trying to decide with one would be perfect for Knives. He'd saved my life so many times and I wanted to repay him in some way.

One holster kept catching my eye. It was a brown Thomas Leather holster with intricate patterns and designs on it. In the center of the winding trails was a symbol.

"Lily? What's this symbol mean?" I pointed to the symbol.

"It's the Wheel of Fortune. The symbol of change. It derives from an old set of cards that supposedly could tell your fortune." She shrugged.

I picked up the holster and looked at the symbol again. Knives was changing. You'd have to be deaf, dumb, blind and dead not the see it.

I grinned at Lily. "I'll get this."

She smiled back, "Okay."

We left the store after paying for the holster and I giggled happily at the crowds milling around us. I had a gift for Knives! I hoped he liked it, and maybe Knives would get it into his head that—

A scream cut my thought short.

"Kes! Look out!" Lily grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the way of a flying, shredded car.

**(Knives)**

"Damn!" I jumped up and flipped over a torn and beat up car. I was using my senses to track Kestrel. These days she was being very open about her whereabouts, always letting me into her mind.

There! I ran towards them and skidded into the alleyway where they hid, "Kes!"

Her eyes lit up when she saw me, "Knives!" She jumped at me and hugged my neck.

I didn't have the chance to reprimand her before the building exploded over us. I grabbed Kestrel and Lily's hands and threw them out of the way. Once I knew they were safely out of the way. I peered out from the alleyway.

There, in the middle of the street was a huge… what? IT was nearly invisible, only a few shimmers in the air could tell me its height. It was over a 100 yarz high.

Tentacles of shimmering air swayed around careening through buildings making a path wide enough for a sand steamer.

I cursed and went back to Kestrel and Lily. My objective now was to get Kestrel to safety.

----------------------------------------

**(Vash)**

(One day earlier)

"Ahh!" I breathed out happily and flopped on the one of the beds in our motel room, I lay my head down on the table and grinned; "It's sooo good to be out of the desert."

We'd been walking for days. Uru and Farlo had lead us into the un-traveled part of the desert. A supposed short cut the Lost Seers temple. The two of them had left the motel, probably off the dumpster-dive.

"Why are you complaining?" Meryl mock-glared, "We've been on longer trips." She quipped as she organized some of her paperwork.

I laughed and closed my eyes, "We didn't get to be alone in those small tents."

I heard her choke, and even though my eyes were closed I could just see the red flowers blooming on her cheeks. Nicholas, who was just coming out of the restroom, chuckled, "Well if you wanted some privacy you could have just asked."

"Wolfwood, don't give him ideas! I have to get my work done! I have to think up excuses as to why towns are being destroyed, and why Vash _isn't_ involved in the destroying."

I sighed, opened my eyes, and stared at the ceiling, "We have to be leaving soon anyway. There's no telling when the Shade is going to recover and come for Milly again."

Both Meryl and Nick murmured their agreements.

"Where is she anyway?" Nick asked, his brow crinkling in worry.

Meryl noisily stacked some papers into a file folder, and then replied, "She went to the store to get some groceries."

"I'll go find her," I said, "Need doughnuts anyway."

----------------------------------------

"Uru believes this is the way." The crusty old man Uru placed a grisly finger on the map.

"Damn…" I said, looking that the map where Uru had his finger. It was a long ways into the desert.

He and his son, Farlo, had been leading us through Gunsmoke towards the Temple of the Lost Seers. There we would hopefully find the weapon required to get rid of the Shade.

I glanced to the back corner of the motel room where Milly and Nick were feeding the babies. The twins would never be able to make it in the desert. We would have to find someone to take them while we went into the deep desert.

I had already spoken with Nick about it and he agreed. It wasn't safe out there. Nick even said that he wished that he could leave Milly someplace safe too, but, he too, knew that The Shade was after Milly and she would never be safe until it was gone.

"We ought to rent or buy a vehicle to get us out there. That's a good hundred iles." Meryl commented.

I nodded absently. A car or truck would only get us so far. We'd be walking the rest of the way if it broke down or ran out of gas.

Abruptly the ground shook, knocking a cup off the table, making it break.

"What the hell!" Suddenly the wall was imploding coming straight at us. I seized Meryl around the waist, grabbed the collar of Uru's shirt and dove with them out of the way. Nick had Milly and the twins already out of the way.

"Meryl! Take Milly, Uru and the twins and get out of here." I quickly said to her.

She nodded without argument, ushering Uru out of the way.

"Nick lets go!" I rushed out of the large hole in the wall. Nick grabbed his Cross Punisher and ran after me.

We dove behind a large car, just missing the Shade's swipe at us. The Shade was huge, air around it shimmering in places, the only indication of its presence.

Nick and I fired our guns at it, virtually blind. Our bullets only ricocheted, hitting the ground.

On of its tentacles wrapped around a car and flung it at us.

"Watch out!" I yelled to Nick. He whirled around firing his guns at the almost invisible tentacles screaming through the air.

I fired my own gun in the direction of the "head," hoping the girls had made it to safety.

"How did it find us?" Nick yelled over the deafening noise of the destructing blooming around us. He fired again.

"How the hell should I know!" I yelled. The Shade soared right at us, its near invisible mouth gaping at us.

"Use it!" Nick shouted back.

Both he and I dove to either side to avoid the Shade's mouth. I popped open the bullet carriage of my gun and slipped the last Spiritus-fragment bullet I had, inside. I fired at the Shade's head. The bullet left the barrel, leaving behind a trail of golden sparkles in its wake.

The bullet hit the Shade. It screamed, its wails of pain shaking the ground and tumbling the nearby buildings. It screamed one more time, this time in rage and flew up into the sky, disappearing without a trace.

"Woohoo!" I yelled, "Let's go get the girls!"

Wolfwood didn't answer. Instead he was looking off, away from where the Shade had been, "Nick? What's the matter?"

"Impossible," he breathed.

"Nick, what--" then I saw him. I _saw_ him.

_Knives. _

He was just standing there in the middle of the street, talking to some woman, so casually that I nearly had a heart attack.

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**A/N:** I'm not sure if any of you remember that spin-off of Nova I was going to write. Well it's in to works right now. That spin-off, which is currently Untitled, will explain Exactly what the Shade is, and why it's after Milly.

I will be explaining it here, for the benefit of Knives and Kes, but I figured I ought to have a deeper story to it.

Anyway. I'll start posting that soon, I already have the first chapter written. Keep your eyes out:)


	18. Chapter 17: We Meet Again

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 17: We Meet Again**

**---------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

"Is it over?" Lily asked.

I just shook my head, "I don't know." The nook the three of us had planted ourselves in was deep in an alley corner. The wall pressed up against my back was chilling, a wide contrast to the two bodies mashed next to me. Lily to my left and Kestrel to my right.

The sounds around us had suddenly quieted, as if no one dared to breathe for fear that that _thing_ would come back. Really the only sound was that of Kestrel's whimpering as she clutched the chest of my shirt like it was the only thing that was going to save her.

I had my arm wrapped around her back trying to comfort her without saying anything. The building at my back made a startling rumble.

"Lets move." I said, pulling out of the sandwich and helping both the girls to their feet. We quickly got out of the alley and back into sunlight. A good, safe distance from that building.

"Ah! Knives! Your arm!" Kestrel suddenly cried out, pointing to my arm.

I glanced down at my right arm. It was bleeding from a large gash that spanned my upper arm and forearm. When did that happen?

"I'll get some cloth!" Kestrel dropped the little bag she was holding and rushed to one of the wrecked clothing stands.

"It doesn't appear anyone was injured…" Lily commented, looking around at the people feeling safe enough to venture out of their hiding places.

"No." I replied.

"What was _that_?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I've never seen anything like it." Nothing I had even ever read was like what I had just seen here. No earth myths and no tales of sightings here on Gunsmoke came to mind. Was this a new species?

"Kn- Knives?" a hesitant voice to my left asked.

I whipped my head around and felt my heart drop. _Oh crap._

**(Vash)**

Knives had been staring at some of the people milling around the rubble, but when he heard my voice he jerked around to stare at me. His face had turned white. He opened his mouth to say something but no words left.

"Knives, give me your arm!" a small voice ordered.

Knives gave me a double blink and looked down, I followed his gaze…. Kestrel. She didn't seem to see me. Instead she was focused on Knives' arm where there was a large wound.

Alive. They were both alive! My heart suddenly felt like it was cracking in two. Part of me was overjoyed and yet… a darker part was upset. He was alive. Knives was _alive. _Did that mean he was still after humanity?

"Ouch!" Knives suddenly bit out, "be careful with that!"

Kestrel looked up at him with a pout but continued wrapping his arm. She didn't seem hurt. She wasn't afraid of him.

Knives abruptly remembered me and glared hard, distrust evident in his eyes.

"You're alive." I said.

His eyebrows twitched, "So it seems."

Then it dawned on me. "You FAKED your death!" My sudden outburst shocking both myself and the three people in front of me, "All this time we thought you and Kestrel were dead… and you FAKED it! God man! What's the matter with you! Kestrel's family was distraught! _I_ was distraught! We thought you were dead! What were you thinking! You're still after them aren't you? You're still set on killing all of humanity. And here I thought you had changed!"

"I--" Knives started.

"I wont let you continue, you know. I, as sure as there are two suns, am not going to let you start your killing game again!"

"Vash--"

"I wont let you kill any more people. They deserve _life_!"

Suddenly I was seeing clouds twirling around in the sky, and tasting blood. With a resounding WHUMP my back hit the ground.

"Just SHUT UP!" Knives growled. He flexed his fingers and stepped back.

I shook the stars out of my vision and glared up at him. "Why did I even think you could change?"

Knives just looked at me like he was tired then turned away, "Don't even claim to think you know me, Vash. Because you don't. Don't just suddenly barge back into my life and think I won't mind. Because right now…" He paused, as if considering just how he would say his next words, but nothing left his mouth.

I heard him sigh and then saw him look at Kestrel. She gave him a confused smile then looked at me. The look in her eyes was that of confusion and…. There was no recognition in her eyes.

She looked back to Knives and whispered something to him. He said something back, to which she responded with surprise. Then Knives nodded, and sighed. Kestrel looked back to me with a new look in her eye, and then giving Knives on last glance she came over to me and knelt down, "You… know of my family?"

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, "Y—yes of course, why wouldn't I?"

She looked away, "I do not remember them."

She didn't remember? What had happened? I looked at Knives, who was now starting up at the sky, his face unreadable.

--------------------------

I was shocked. For the past couple of months, Knives had been living with humans. Actually living with them of his own free will. Luke and his sister Lily, the woman from before, seemed like really nice people, and not the kind of humans Knives used to associate with.

Then there was the woman Louisa, a Plant. What had happened since he had left us? Kestrel was virtually a blank slate. And Knives…. Knives was quiet. So far no one had been able to explain to me just what had happened. After leading Wolfwood and me to their apartment, Knives has secluded himself in his room and left us to sort things out.

It was obvious to me that Luke and Lily knew things, but they were holding back, or as Lily said, 'It's not our place, Mr. Vash. If he wants to tell you that's up to him.'

Kestrel and Louisa had left somewhere, but not before Kestrel had me tell her all about her family. Later Lily mentioned something about Kestrel trying to regain some of her memories and that Louisa was using her Plant powers to unlock her mind.

Wolfwood and I didn't stay much longer. We had to meet up with this girls or they would be worried. So we left with a few hand shakes and said we would be back tomorrow. I hoped that Knives would stay put and not flee. I had to talk to him.

I knew I should have celebrated more now that I knew my only brother was alive, but until I knew his true intentions behind faking his death I could not possibly bring myself to rejoice.

Because of the appearance of the Shade, we couldn't stay long. We had maybe a day or two, three if we were lucky before the Shade recovered from the Spiritus bullet and came after us again. And this time we wouldn't have a Spiritus bullet to save us.

We had to get the Temple soon. Now.

-----------------------

**(Kestrel)**

"Ready?" Louisa asked. She held my hands tight ready to begin the mental connections between us.

We stood out on the back porch of the apartment preparing to begin another one of our sessions. Louisa would open up the subconscious parts of my brain and I would be able to grasp the strongest memories that floated up. I already had so many of Knives and yet some much more was missing. Like those of my parents… my siblings.

What Vash had been able to tell me was a whole lot more than what Knives had ever given away. And now I had something to anchor onto while I searched deeper.

"Yes." I said quietly, "I'm ready." I closed my eyes as I felt the mental bridges connect. Then I grasped onto one of the things Mr. Vash had said… _You have an older sister, Aria. She has the same coloring as you… blue hair and gold eyes. She's tall for a girl…_

_Aria…_

_Aria…_

"Kes! Come down!" the voice of a child echoed up from some dark long forgotten memory, "Papa will get angry!"

The darkness around my vision cleared and I slunk into a memory, the eyes of my self, moved to look back. The eyes saw a short girl with a worried look on her face.

"I'm getting it back!" This voice emanated from my own mouth. I saw my tiny child-like hands reaching up to pull me up onto the roof of a building.

My eyes moved to see out over an incredible sight. It was a valley, filled with trees and a large lake in the middle.

"You'll fall!" The other girl said.

"No I won't! I've done this before." I shouted back.

I reached up once more to grab the edge of the roof, but suddenly it was falling away from me, and then I was turning in mid air, till the ground and the sky became opposites.

I heard a scream, and then saw nothing.

I gasped and quickly opened my eyes. I could still feel the phantom pains in my chest and arms. I breathed in sharply.

"I think that's enough for tonight, " Louisa said, letting go of my hands, "That was a little…"

I nodded, and took one more deep breath. "Yeah, I think I'll go to bed."

Knives had once said that I used to have a fear of heights… Was that what caused it? I went over to the kitchen table and grabbed the new holster for Knives off the table. Lily and Luke were both gone. They must have decided to go to bed. I knocked on the door the bedroom that both Knives and I shared. "Knives?"

There was no answer. I wiggled the handle but it was no use. "Knives? Knives, your brother is gone."

It worked. The door clicked. I pushed open the door. Knives hadn't even moved from the bed, his back was towards the door. I closed the door behind me as quietly as possible, then I went and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning my back against his. He stiffened momentarily then after a few seconds, loosened up.

Even with some of the memories I'd gained of him, my feelings only got stronger. I knew that I loved him. But I still longed for something. I needed to know more about him. He often refused to tell me about himself. Why didn't he trust me?

I felt Knives turn. He reached around my waist and squeezed lightly. I leaned back into him, and reprimanded myself. He was having a hard time right now. His brother… obviously there was something bad going on between those two. And right now all he needed was comfort.

I let the holster drop to the floor and twisted my torso a bit to rest my head on his shoulder. For now… I could be content with what I had.

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Meh... sorry for not updating in SO long I've been sitting on this chapter for days now. But here it is. I'm still working on the spinoff. I'm hoping to get the entire thing posted in one day so I'm working to get the entire thing finished. No guarantees on wnhen the next cahpter comes. I'm also doing a lot of work on my original stuff.

Also **many thanks** to those who have reviewed. I greatly appreciate your comments.


	19. Chapter 18: The Shade

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 18: The Shade**

**---------------------------------**

**(Meryl)**

"I don't know Vash." I said, with worry. "I really doubt Knives is going to agree to it." It was already the day after the attack by the Shade. The towns' people were in a state of shock and anger. When the mayor found out Vash was in town he demanded we leave immediately. Vash agreed to leave within a few hours. But now he was saying that he wanted to convince Knives to come along.

"You never know, Meryl. I think it's worth a try." He grinned half heartedly, like he really didn't believe what he was saying either.

"Well, all right." I sighed. "Just remember we have to be out of town by 2 o'clock."

He grinned again, and gave a little salute. He twisted out the door as Milly was entering, "Excuse me Mr. Vash." Milly said politely.

"Well, any luck?" I asked Milly.

She shook her head sadly, "This is a really little town, and there aren't any daycares to be found."

I cursed under my breath. This wasn't good. Milly and Nicholas's twins would be in great danger if we brought them any further than this. It was a mistake for us to have brought them even this far. I closed the suitcase on the bed that I had been messily repacking. "Well, we'll figure something out."

Milly nodded as she caressed the heads of her children.

I smiled sadly ad the display. Poor Milly had been through too much since the Shade had shown up.

It had been exactly one month since Knives and Kestrel had died when the Shade showed up. Lanoth had slowly fallen back into the flow of life, including Kestrel's family. Kestrel's sister and cousin had helped Vash, Wolfwood, Milly and I find a place of our own to stay not far from their home.

The large scar on the fifth moon was immortalized on its face, half of it from Vash's own angel arm and the other half from the destruction of Seldokas's ship. Both the plant brothers had left their mark. Literally. I think it made people think too much that the twin brothers were irresponsible. And a lot of people in Lanoth blamed us for the death of some of their friends and family a well as the loss of Kestrel. The atmosphere kind of made living there uncomfortable.

It was made all the more worse when one night half the town was wrecked by an invisible being. At first people thought that Seldokas had some how come back and was seeking revenge against the town. But after a week of investigation it was concluded that this new being was not Seldokas. But something entirely different.

The man, a plant, in charge of the defense of Lanoth tried contacting the being using his powers. The Shade appeared out of nowhere and killed him. Every telepathic sensitive person in the valley heard this at his moment of death: 'Where is she? Where is the Mother? Where is Gaia?'

An hour later he attacked our house and if it weren't for Wolfwood the being would have killed Milly. He had stood in front of the creature, glowing like firecracker. The thing disappeared and Wolfwood passed out.

When Wolfwood had come to, he knew everything about what it was. He claimed that someone on the other side of death had explained it to him.

The creature was a Shade, an ancient creature whose history was tightly connected with that of humanity and the Old Earth. It was a sibling of the superhuman force that had set in motion the evolution of humanity and all the creatures on Earth, Gaia. Apparently, Gaia had something that the Shade wanted. The ability to create life. This ability was one rare in the kind of creatures that the Shade and Gaia were to have it meant great things about the one who held it. It meant that one had not only the ability to create life, but to control it, or destroy it.

The Shade wanted this ability so much that once its sibling has fallen into the life growing trance it poisoned her. Making the life she was coaxing out of the near barren planet run amok. Gaia awoke at the last moment before her life force was completely disabled and imbedded it in the body of one of the creatures developing on Earth. For millennia afterwards as each creature died the life force passed from one to another, finally settling on a kind of creature that was beginning to develop sentience. Primates.

The Shade left the Earth, unable to locate which one of the millions of creatures currently held the life force. It returned some thousands of years later to find that a dominate race had developed. Its sentience was primitive but in ways similar to the sentience of its own kind. It was then that it realized that Gaia was still alive in some way. She was still coaxing the life in whatever way she could.

It went into its own trance and learned all about the new sentient creatures. It took almost six thousand years before the Shade was able to detect the life force. But by the time it came out of its trance the majority of the sentient creatures had left the Earth. Weakened considerably by the trance it could only slowly crawl though space in the direction of the life force.

Fast forward to the present. It had finally reached Gunsmoke. But instead of seeking the life force immediately it waited. There were other things at work on the planet that the Shade didn't want to get involved in. Such as the presence of a life force very different from that of Gaia's. It felt very much like that of one of their other siblings who had disappeared after his creation destroyed itself. The Shade waited until it felt the other life force disappear.

It was then it began looking for Gaia's life force. And found Milly.

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YAY... I ACTUALLY RETURNED!!! XD I'll keep writing, hopefully I can get you guys some more story before college starts again. Hope you enjoyed!!! Sorry if it's a bit iffy, I haven't written on this fanfiction for over a year XD;;;.


	20. Chapter 19: Reluctant Reunion

A/N: I haven't written on this thing in a hellish amount of time, so the characters, OC and Canon may be slightly OOC. I promised myself I would finish this story, so I'm going to do my best.

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 19: Reluctant Reunion**

**---------------------------------**

(Vash)

I knocked on the door to Knives's room. "I know you're in there Knives." I said grumpily. "Listen, I just want to talk."

No answer.

I'd already been out here for five minutes talking to a silent door. Luke had said Knives and Kestrel were in there. They hadn't been out since last night. Time was wasting. I had to be back at the hotel by 2, and it was already 1:14.

"Knives… please. I need you help." I laid my hand gently on the faux wood door. I felt no vibrations. No one moved in the room. I sighed and dropped my hand. "Dammit, forget this."

I stomped away, but stopped in my tracks when I heard the door open. Kestrel peeked her head out. She motioned with her finger for me to approach then disappeared into the room. I pushed open the ajar door and saw Knives, his back to me, facing the window. I could only see a slight edge of his face, but his expression was that of peace and deep thought.

"Talk, Vash." He said, curtly. Kestrel sat on the edge of the bed and gave me a small smile and a nod.

"Ah…" I felt a little awkward standing in the doorway, but this was my only chance to talk to him. "We need your help."

He didn't respond.

I laughed nervously, "but you knew that already… uhm… that thing you saw yesterday, the Shade, it's after Milly."

No response and no movement.

"Ya see--"

"Why should I care?" Knives suddenly spoke.

I thought about that question for a moment. The Shade was after Milly, and if it got her it would probably wreck havoc on this entire planet. The humans could all die… and so could the Plants. I said exactly that to him. "… The Plants could be caught in the crossfire."

His shoulders twitched a little bit, but I couldn't tell the meaning behind it. Kestrel leaned over to him and whispered something inaudible in his ear. He looked at her and a meaningful looked passed between them. He nodded and said, "Continue."

"Well, once we find a place for Milly and Nick's kids to go, we're heading out into the desert. There's a place out there where we could possibly stop the Shade. We have a couple of guides."

"What do you need me for?"

I sighed, "Nothing really… I just… want us to be brothers again. I want us to stop fighting. I want us to go back to the way we were long ago."

He shoulders fell slightly as he let out a breath. "We can never be the same." He turned his head to look at me for the first time. His eyes were those of someone who was weary. "But I'm tired Vash. Tired of fighting. Tired of killing."

I felt cold shock trickle down my veins. Never in all my years did I ever expect him to say that. I had hoped, of course. But that hope had always come with a grain of salt. Never did I really believe.

"But I won't give up. I won't abandon our sisters. I won't let _anyone_ get in my way." I heard the veiled threat, he may be tired of killing, but if someone got in his way, he would kill again.

"Right," I breathed. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Knives stood to his feet and looked me squarely in the face. "I'll come, I'll help, but don't you dare lecture me at _any_ point or I'm taking Kestrel and leaving. And you won't ever find us again."

I nodded, relieved.

I told the two where to meet the rest of us, and headed out the door. Before I could reach the living room Kestrel ran up behind me and grabbed my arm.

"Kes?"

She let go of my arm quickly and pointed vaguely down the hall towards the living room. "Knives said... to ask Lily and Luke if they will take care of the babies." She bounced about an inch, turned and nearly sprinted back into the room.

I blinked, and then chuckled lightly.

**---------------------------------**

**(Meryl)**

"Did you find anyone to take care of the kids?" Vash asked the moment he was in the door.

I shook my head, no. "Nobody. For some reason the only daycare in town is closed." I sipped at the nearly toxic coffee that the hotel provided.

"Well I found somebody." Vash grinned.

I perked up, "Oh? Who?"

"The people Knives and Kes are staying with."

I nearly dropped my cup of nuclear coffee. "W-what?"

He grinned again, this time bright enough to blind someone, "Knives and Kes are coming with us!"

I set the cup down and rubbed my forehead, "Oh, goody."

"Oh, c'mon Meryl, It's not that bad. The whole gang will be back together again."

"Gah." Was the only reply I could think of as appropriate. It's not like I needed to go through an already stressful situation with a psychotic Plant. It was like fate was saying, 'Bam! No rest for you!' "Great, okay… so are these people that Knives was staying with all that trustworthy?"

"Yeah, I talked to my plant-sister Louisa—she's also staying with them—and she confirmed for me that all was well."

"What is this, the Plant adoption service?" Vash opened his mouth to answer, but I shook my hand to sop him. "Don't answer that."

"Knives hasn't brainwashed all of them has he?"

Vash gave me a petulant look, "Meeeeeryl! Come on! I checked into everything!"

I laughed, "Sorry."

"Where are Milly and Nick anyway?"

"Last minute shopping."

"Oh." Vash sat opposite me and piddled with the cheap table mats.

I didn't know what to think of Knives coming with us. I knew Vash wanted him to change, but after faking his own death how trustworthy could he really be? A man doesn't just change his entire philosophy in so quick a time. I shook my head, and sighed. Who knows what had happened since his "death." That man was almost evil to the core and terribly capable of getting things done.

I hated questioning Vash's judgment like this, even the possibility of betrayal, but no matter what, my finger will always be on the trigger of my gun. I won't let him get away if he thinks he can begin his war again. This planet and its people had gone through enough because of him.


	21. Chapter 20: Twisted Desert

A/N: I had not really realized how hard it would be to reintegrate myself into this story, after so much time, I hope my quality of writing has, at least, improved. That and I think everyone grew tired of me and my sporadic updates. XD;;; This has **NOT **been betaed. So there may be mistakes.

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 20: Twisted Desert**

**---------------------------------**

**(Kestrel)**

_The alien creature displayed a twisted smile, and spoke in words I couldn't understand. I knew this creature's name. I knew it. It was on the tip of my tongue, the tip of my mind. I wanted to scream out at it. I wanted to tell it to go away, to leave us alone. Its body was a strange amalgamation between beast and machine, giving it a sinister appearance. The creature continued to speak, its voice akin to a growl and a hiss. Without warning the creature disappeared in a flash of blinding yellow light. The light stayed surrounding, enveloping and smothering me. _

"_REMEMBER!!!!" My own voice screamed out._

**---------------------------------**

I sat up. My breath came out in jagged hacks and coughs. Clutching my chest I looked around. No one else was awake. The others were still in the same positions as they had fallen asleep in. I let me breathing calm down before I stood.

Knives had his back to me and slept about five feel away. Ever since we had joined up with Knives's brother and his friends four days ago, he hadn't been as close. We walked in the back of the group side by side, talking. But he never touched me; he never even got close enough.

I sighed, disconcertedly. I didn't understand this at all.

I turned away from him and wandered out towards some of the rocks that trimmed the edge of our campsite. I climbed up onto one of the rocks and stared out at the endless desert. We'd been walking for awhile. But it didn't take long for the lights of the city to completely fade into the horizon.

**(Knives)**

I woke up. I don't know what woke me, but whatever it had been it was gone now. I closed my eyes, but sleep didn't return. The night was too silent; I had gotten too used to the noise and bustle of that small town. The only people I could feel now where the ones the slept around me.

Except for one. Kestrel was not where she was when he went to sleep. Her presence was much farther off. I sat up at looked at the spot where the aforementioned woman had lain previously. Her possessions were still there, so she wasn't likely running off. Not that that kind of reasoning would make sense.

I looked over at the rocks. Kestrel's outline against the midnight sky wasn't hard to locate. I wiped some stray sand from my shirt and pants and went over to her. "Kestrel?" She looked down at me, her face unreadable. "What's wrong, you should be sleeping."

"I couldn't." She said in a low final tone like it wasn't something she wanted to discuss.

"Why?" I pressed.

She gave me another unreadable look. "It's nothing Knives, something I have to work through on a personal level."

I nodded. She obviously didn't want to talk about it. And right now I was more than willing to let her mope if she wanted. I had other things to worry about. Now that I was out of that town I felt like I had become clear headed again. I could see my goals, past and present, before me like I never have before. They were just waiting there for me to reach them. I could easily, _easily_ restart my dream of removing all the humans from the planet. This Shade creature also seemed to want something along those lines, from what I understood of Vash, Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood's conversations over the past few days.

I looked up at Kestrel one more time and then climbed up the rock to sit next to her. She stared at me for a long period of time but I didn't turn to see what sort of expression she had on her face. Let her interpret all she wanted from my action. She touched her head to my arm, but broke the contact almost immediately. The feelings and thoughts that had developed over the past two months were also clear to me. I had let myself indulge in humanity, human emotions and a human world. It was a mistake. These feelings I had for her were a burden, a weakness that needed to be rooted out and burned. It hurt to think about, but it had to be done. It wouldn't do to have certain feelings for one who would one day be destroyed along with all the other humans.

We sat together for almost an hour before Kestrel complained of weariness and went back to bed. I sat there till dawn, watching the stars slowly move across the sky only to fade in the coming sunlight. Once I saw the first sun peek over the dune I rejoined the others in a few moments of sleep before they awoke and we would move on, closer to the Temple of the Lost Seers.

**(Kestrel)**

It had been two days since Knives had joined me for a late night stargaze. During that time I had gotten a strange feeling, an old fear from my previous life. Something was going on with Knives right now. I hadn't understood before that moment I'd touched his shoulder, but now it consumed me. Something was very wrong and I didn't know what to do. I didn't feel comfortable talking with the others; I didn't know them very well. And there was no way I could talk to Knives.

I glanced at him briefly from the corner of my eye as he walked at a steady unwavering pace. While the rest of us grew tired as the day passed, his step and that of his brother never faltered. They didn't seem to tire at all. It was the first time I really realized how different he was from the rest of the population. I knew he was special, from how he communicated with Louisa and how he seemed to know things before anyone said or did them. I knew he was a Plant. Not human. I wasn't really afraid. But I didn't know how to feel either. Knives was still Knives even if he was different than us.

The day passed slowly. There was hardly anything out here to break up the monotonous dunes other than a few jagged rock formations. That wasn't so odd. What was, however, was the fact that the desert hardly made any sounds other than the trudging of our footsteps. There were none of the common creatures out here that one was prone to see. No vultures waiting for prey to fall, no reptiles or insects hiding in the shade of the rocks or dunes. It was truly a dead desert.

The others noticed the unusual silence as well and followed its example, there was hardly a word spoken until camp was made and everyone sat around a little lantern that provided little of the needed light and even less heat. I was starting to get sick of talking to nothing but the phantom memories in my head because the few that rose to the surface were nothing but bad memories or those of extreme emotional stress. I knew a little about the death of the mother I had no memory of, and a little about the cousin who nearly killed herself while trying to attempt a dangerous power used only by those of older age. Most the memories that I did have of my past life, were those of Knives. The memories were conflicting and unusual. I knew that I loved him, but nothing of how he felt about me. There were indications, signs and so on that said to me he might love me, but he never acted on any of them. From everything that I had learned over the past two months, he didn't like humans. Even if I was slightly modified version of one, I was still human in his eyes. If anything he was more likely to fall for Louisa than me.

Darkness began to fall over the horizon and the others began to look for a spot to set up camp for the night. Dinner passed quietly, quieter than usual, and everyone went to sleep in their respective spots.

Sleep these days seemed to elude me. I couldn't stop dwelling on the sudden change in Knives. Back in the city with Luke, Lily and Louisa he was always around, smiling and joking. Now he was acting like the person I remembered from the distant past. Someone unapproachable. But unlike my past self, I had seen a different side to him, and it was making this all the harder to accept.

I got up and like the time two nights ago, I went and sat on a little rock ledge.

**(Knives)**

I heard Kestrel get up and leave. But this time I didn't get up to join her. I had other things to think about. Like this journey they were on. None of the others were being terribly clear as to why they were traveling or where. I knew only a few things, like the Temple of the Lost Seers and the fact that Milly was being chased by some other worldly creature who could easily destroy us in a second. I had spoken to our "guides" if you could call them that, Uru and Farlo the father and son who defied any sort of knowledge about the human race I had gathered in my 130 years good or bad. They just didn't fit anywhere in the ideas that I had about humans. The two had told me that the Temple was a creation of the former inhabitants of this planet, and their last. The entire species had died out some 13 centuries ago from a mysterious illness. How these two desert scavengers knew all this was beyond me. I had never heard any of it before this.

I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the star filled sky. I let my eyes travel downwards to where Kestrel was also looking at the sky. Then she stood up and lifted her hands up towards the sky. Her entire body seemed to glow purple for a moment before she dropped her hands and sat back down. I couldn't sense much, because in the past few days she'd begun to work up her psychic barrier again. Like the one she had after waking up two months ago. But I knew she was trying to do something with her powers. I could feel the psychic energy reaching out to the desert. Suddenly she was at my side.

"Knives," She shook my arm lightly, "there's something wrong."

I looked up at her, "what?"

"The moons are gone."

* * *

"How can they just be gone?" Vash asked, his eyes searching the sky as if he could locate them where Kestrel and I had failed. 

"I'm not entirely sure." I said, "but they're not there. I did a quick check, there's nothing there, it's like they weren't there to begin with. No debris. Nothing."

"Is this the Shade's doing?" Meryl asked, she along with Vash, Milly, the priest, and the guides were all woken up after Kestrel's discovery. She had seemed utterly spooked by the whole thing. Who wouldn't be?

"Haunted, is this place." The elder of the two guides suddenly interjected.

"Haunted?" Vash squeaked.

"Yes," he nodded, "many legends there are about the Twisted Desert."

"And how is it that you failed to mention this _before_ we came here?" I asked.

He grinned toothlessly, "Not scare you, we wanted."

"Oh, maaaan." Vash whined, "This is the Twisted Desert?"

I looked at him with surprise. He knew of this place? Have I been totally in the dark about certain things on this planet? First the temple, now this.

"What's the Twisted Desert?" Milly asked. Finally someone else who was in the dark, though I didn't know if comparing myself to her was such a good idea.

"If it is indeed this place," Vash started, "Then basically everything that we know about normality is going to go down the drain."

* * *


	22. Chapter 21: Normality Gone

A/N: Short chapter, but for aesthetic purposes. **  
**

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 21: Normality Gone**

**---------------------------------**

**(Knives)**

The disappearing moons were only the start. They shifted in and out of existence night by night, sometimes fewer than were normal sometimes more. There was no way to explain the strange occurrence other than that the atmosphere above us was tricking our eyes. From what Vash said to at the beginning, things would only get worse. And they did.

Besides the moons the sands around us seemed to have living creatures under it. As if somehow the sandworms had shrunk to the size of a person and now moved in shallow sand. We could often see the things moving under the sand, they never came close enough to be caught or even touched so there was no way to know what they were, exactly. After a time, I even began to see shapes on the horizon, like people, they never seemed tangible as the heat waves on the sand broke up their appearance, and I could never sense the presence of a living being. Again, we never got close enough to see these things up close.

One night we had all been woken by an eerie scream, only to find ourselves surrounded by at least 20 tall translucent creatures draped in gold and black garments. They looked like the creatures I had seen of squid, only they had facial features and a body, even if the body seemed to lack legs, as all 20 of them floated around 3 feet in the air. Three eyes to each of them, and a strange triangular protrusion on the bottom on the face that I could only guess was a nose decorated the face along with strangely artistic swirls drawn or tattooed on. There was no telling where the mouth was, or even if it needed one. Their grayish-white tentacles wavered in our faces but didn't touch us. After about an hour of being stared down and having gotten no answers from the specters they faded with the coming dawn.

During the day, Vash began to recount his own tales of having been in the Twisted Desert. Some 50 years ago he had come across it by accident and had gotten lost in it for over a month, finally finding his way out after seeing a town in the distance that didn't shift like all the other crazy things did in the far off. The townspeople there had explained to him all about the Twisted Desert. He had left some weeks later and was never able to find his way back. He told us, that he thought they might have been the souls of the people who had died in the Desert, because in his time there he never saw anyone sleep or eat.

The girls seemed thoroughly alarmed by the whole place, the Priest just kept is gun ready all the time, but seemed rather unaffected, Vash constantly watched his surroundings but didn't seem all that taken aback by anything that popped up, the two guides just didn't seem to care at all and ignored most of the goings on even to the point of walking right through what appeared to be a line of blazing fire that crossed the entire desert in both directions.

I had come to the conclusion that most, if not all the strange things in this desert were the work of technology, not some sort of mysticism. These things were projections, or holograms. They obviously didn't hurt anything, they were here just to scare people off from venturing into the deep desert and whatever it was they were guarding. I tried to reach out my sense towards the direction of the Desert where we were headed. And felt something that didn't make sense. It was like a living organism that was also a machine. I kept my discovery to myself, hoping to find out more clues as to the origin and nature of the Shade creature. About a week and a half after the strangeness to the Twisted Desert began, Milly of all people came to me and Kestrel.

"We need to talk." He face was uncharacteristically serious.

The three of us sat to the side while Vash, Wolfwood and Meryl sat around the lantern playing a game of cards to keep their minds off the odd howls, cries and other noises coming from the deep desert.

"I had hoped to explain earlier, but other things have been at work that I needed to understand." She lightly tapped her temple, the looked me right in the eye. "You see, after we found you and Kestrel, I asked Vash to ask you two to come along."

I shifted in my seat, a little surprised to hear this. What would Milly want with Kestrel much less me? I didn't say anything, but nodded.

"I asked him that, because I knew you would not respond as well to me as you would to him. And I need your cooperation as much as his."

"What for?" I finally asked.

She bit her lip and looked out into the dark, "maybe it's better if I start at the beginning."

**(Milly)**

"Two months ago, after we had all thought you and Kestrel had died in the explosion on the Fifth Moon everyone was sort of in a daze, Kestrel's family was appreciative of our help, but went about their lives. After a time, we all began to feel that we were imposing too much on the people of Lanoth and left. We settled down in a town not too far from the edge of the open desert. We lived in relative peace for the first two weeks, but after that, all hell broke loose."

* * *


	23. Chapter 22: One and a Half Months Ago

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 22: One and a Half Months Ago**

**---------------------------------**

**(Milly)**

"Whee! Whee!" Nick was throwing Michaela up in the air and catching her, making her giggle with every throw. "You're flying!"

I laughed at the two's antics, while I rocked Junior to sleep. It was good to see him smiling again. After the events of the past two weeks, no one had been in any sort of good mood. Even Vash's normally rubber band-like humor didn't return quickly. It was hard to see him grieve so for his brother. Meryl did the best that she could for him, and he responded as well as could be expected to her support. It was a bit of a shock to think that the man who had threatened humanity's life all this time was finally gone. It didn't make me happy, or sad. I was sort of in-between. I was sad that he had shown some improvement towards accepting humanity, and had had his life cut short before he could fully realize it. I was relieved in a way that if he had ever decided to continue his killing game that he would never be able to again. But it was over now. He was gone, along with the person who had had a hand in helping him change.

I brushed Junior's light hair with the tips of my fingers, and stood up to place him in his crib. Nick was now singing some sort of lullaby to Michaela, lulling her to sleep. When both to the children were in their cribs, he and I went outside to talk. Meryl and Vash had currently taken reign over the living room and the two of us needed to talk.

"What is it?" Nick asked. Concerned wrinkles appeared on his forehead.

"The dreams have begun again. And not just at night anymore, I hear them in the daytime, too."

"Are they saying the same things still?"

"Yes, plus some other things."

The things I was saying some might think I had gone of the deep end, mentally. But I knew, and Nick knew, I wasn't crazy. The things that I'd been told confirmed just what he'd been told by the beings that brought him back to life. There was something important going on, and it involved the both of us.

All I knew at this point was that these people, these other-worldly creatures said something was coming, something big. At first I wondered if Seldokas was still alive despite the efforts of Knives and Kestrel. But the images that I had seen in my dreams said it was something much worse. The monstrous thing in my dreams could move fast, destroy things in a larger area and kill without mercy. It wanted something and wouldn't stop until it got it. That something was unclear at this point, but every day I felt a growing dread as my dreams led me closer to that particular answer.

Sometimes I didn't see the monster, but a creature like it that didn't destroy, didn't kill. Even though their appearance was the same, the energy it emanated was different. It was firm, but gentle. Calculating, but compassionate. The monster was driven by ambition to be powerful, the other by the desire to create.

It was confusing sometimes but as time passed I began to se the distinction between the two. They were siblings of the same species, like Vash and Knives were. And like them they had differing life philosophies. It was a little easier to understand with that sort of comparison, but I still didn't know what they wanted with us.

The dreams had abruptly stopped about three months ago, only to start again a few days ago. I wasn't too sure why this was, but they were more urgent this time. Some sort of message was trying to be sent, but I had yet to find it.

"Something big is coming,"

Nick nodded, looking out at the desert. A sand typhoon was out in the deep desert. It wouldn't ever reach us, but it seemed to be a sign of what we already knew. Something big was coming, and it wasn't going to be pretty.

**---------------------------------**

The day that the monster first appeared was a busy day. A festival was going on in the town and everyone was going about their business, either buying or selling wares. No one was prepared when the buildings above them exploded outward by some nearly invisible force.

"MERYL!" Vash grabbed Meryl's cape and literally threw her out of the way of a falling chunk of building. She coughed as a mass of dust bloomed around her and Vash.

Nick grabbed my arm and dragged me to a safe place out of the way of the destructive force. Vash and Meryl joined as a second later. It was then we got our first good look at exactly what had hit those buildings. It was almost invisible, but the light hitting it caused ripples in the air and you could see the size of it by how the sky shimmered.

It was almost as tall as the Plant structure, and if I was guessing right, looked like what a person would look like if they put a sheet over their head. Its eyes were strange, I could see them, the showed up better than the rest of it, but they moved, the number of its eyes changed in a blink, and moved about the cone of its head like they weren't connected to anything.

"It's coming towards us!" Vash yelled, "RUN!"

We all took off, away from it, and at first it seemed to fall back but started gaining on us, causing more destruction in its wake. We began zigzagging through the streets but no matter where we turned it was always there, just around the corner.

"Vash… I think it's chasing us." Meryl said, out of breath. We had finally gotten a chance to rest for a moment. The creature didn't seem to be able to find us here.

"What? Impossible." Vash shook his head.

"When has anything ever been impossible with you, Vash? You've been chased by tons of things before!" Meryl threw her hands up in the air.

"Me? Why would it be chasing me?" Vash looked confused.

"Why else?"

"People! I've been chased by people! Not sentient wind!"

"It looked more like a nearly invisible creature to me."

"Oh, great. What, is this Seldokas Junior come to take revenge or something?"

"No," I said, surprising them both. "It's something much worse."

The two of them stared at me for a moment as if confused. "How do you know, Milly? Do you know what this is?"

I shook my head, "Not exactly, but I've been feeling something…"

Someone cleared his throat beside me, at first I thought it was Nick, but the person looking at me wasn't Nick. An extremely weather worn old man leaned over Nick and was staring right at me, and said, "A Shade, that is."


	24. Chapter 23: The Mother

**---------------------------------**

**Learning to Live**

**Chapter 23: The Mother**

**---------------------------------**

**(Milly)**

"You know what that thing is?" Nick asked the weather beaten man leaning over him.

"Uru knows many things." The old man said with a grin.

A confused look passed between the others, but Meryl's face turned to recognition. "You were the one who found the guns!"

Uru grinned again, "Yes. You remember."

"Of course," Meryl chuckled, "Kind of hard to forget."

"Wait, wait," Vash said suddenly. "You know what that thing is… tell us." It wasn't a request. Vash looked deeply disturbed.

Uru began talking; at first it was hard to understand his broken way of speech, but after a few minutes it became easy to understand. The thing that had attacked the town was called a Shade. It's real name, given to it by the former inhabitants of Gunsmoke. The fact that there were former inhabitants was as surprising as the Shade, but Uru didn't elaborate on that. Instead he told us about how the Shade had been born, one of over a thousand others, it had been jealous of the power afforded to one of its elder siblings, Gian, and after destroying some of its younger siblings and gaining their powers went after the elder sibling.

Gian was currently in the process of creating a world and when the Shade attacked the elder was caught unprepared. It was badly damaged by the Shade's first attack and used up almost all of its power to put the Shade in a comatose state that it stayed in for billions of years. With the last of its life Gian put its lifeforce, it spirit into a mammalian species that would one day give rise to primates and eventually humans.

The life force reincarnated each generation into a new life form, Gian slowly gaining its energy and strength. However, Gian's life force didn't regenerate soon enough. Humans left Earth disconnecting Gian from its only route out. The core of the planet, also known as Spiritus, was intrinsically tied to Gian's life and it had no way to use the energy of the Spiritus to free itself.

As the human male Gian was currently residing in was put in a state of cold sleep, the Gian also fell into a sleeplike state, only waking then the human woke on a desert planet.

The Spiritus of the desert planet was incompatible with Gian's, as the planet had been formed from an ancient form of its species many eons ago. Time passed and the Gian continued to jump from one host to another as each was born, lived and died.

After Uru had completed his tale, Vash asked, "Then why is it following _us_?"

"Gian, one of you holds." He said simply.

"Who is it?" Meryl asked, glancing at each of us before finally resting on Uru.

Uru stared at each of us in turn, his look long and searching. Finally he stood up to his full four and half feet and walked towards a tall sack at the edge of the alley way. He rummaged through the bag, muttering to himself inaudibly.

I gave Nick a look of confusion; he just shook his head looking just as confused, only more peeved.

"Aha!" Uru, cried out and hobbled back to us. He held out his palm and on it laid three bullet shaped rocks. Little glitters on them sparkled gold while others shone like silver.

Before any of us could respond he placed his hand in front of Vash's face, then seconds later moved in front of Meryl, again moving on seconds later. Next his hand was in front of my face. I expected him to move away a few seconds in but he didn't. At first I felt a chill run through my blood. Then I felt my muscles seize up and I was locked into place staring at the bullet rocks.

A toneless voice echoed in my head speaking words I didn't understand. But the meaning behind them became clear: _Daughter, it is time to bring about the Prophecy of my brethren's Chosen Ones. You, the keeper of Life, must save your siblings and your children. Go, Mother, with the Child, the Defender and the Catalyst to the land where the temple rises and falls. There you will find salvation for all. _

With the last words spoken I closed my eyes and for the briefest of moments the world was black. When I opened my eyes again I was staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, the words still reverberating through my head.

I looked around. At first I wondered how long I'd been asleep, then shocking I _felt_ the amount of time that had transpired. Three days. It had felt like only an instant at first. I realized after a few minutes that I could also sense the people in the house. Vash was in the kitchen pacing aback and forth, while Meryl sat at the table drinking some coffee. The twins were in their crib down the hall, but Nick was nowhere in the house or immediate vicinity. Closing my eyes I tried to make sense of these new things I was feeling, the time sense, and the people sense. I wondered briefly if this was what it was like to be a plant. I shook my head to myself, no. This was something entirely different. I'm sure some people would find this all scary. But I kind of though it was rather exciting. Who knows what the voice in my head had been talking about? But I'm sure I would be able to figure it out.

---------------------------------

**-PRESENT DAY-**

"And then, it started to come to me. What Gian had been saying to me, that is. When I saw you two in the Marketplace the other day, I realized who two of the people were. You, Kestrel are the Child, borne from the parent race of humans representing the future of all the people in this planet. And you, Knives, are the Defender, one of those who were created to protect and defend the human race. I am the Mother, or the one who carries the essence of the mother of all our races. The Catalyst…is unknown at this time. But I know in my heart that he or she will be present when we get to the Temple."


End file.
